[BITList] Scandanavian Jokes

[John Feltham]

Scandanavian Jokes 
For those of you with Norwegian heritage, these might be right up your alley,....


 

There are many good jokes about the Irish, but the Scandanavians hold their own in this department as well.

                 ......No they Don’t!,...... 

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FAMOUS INVENTIONS - The toilet seat was invented in Minnesota, but twenty years later a North Dakotan invented the hole in it.

OUTHOUSE PROBLEMS - When Ole accidentally lost 50 cents in the outhouse, he immediately threw in his watch and billfold. He explained, 'I'm not going down in dere yust for 50 cents.'

THAT'S HER! - A Norwegian appeared with five other men in a rape case police line-up. As the victim entered the room, the Norwegian blurted, 'Yep, dat's her!'

VE COULDN'T AFFORD MORE - Two Norwegians from Minnesota went fishing in Canada and returned with only one fish. "The way I figger it, dat fish cost us $400" said the first Norwegian.  "Vell ," said the other one,  " At dat price it's a good ting ve didn't catch any more."

MUSIC SOLUTION - Ole bought Lena a piano for her birthday. A few weeks later, Lars inquired how she was doing with it."  'Oh," said Ole, " I persvaded her to svitch to a clarinet. "  " How come? " asked Lars. " Vell," Ole answered, " because vith a clarinet, she can't sing."  (this one may be my favorite!)

THE PRANK CALL - The phone rings in the middle of the night when Ole and Lena are in bed and Ole answers . " Vell how da hell should I know, dats two tousand miles from here " he says and hangs up. " Who vas dat? " asks Lena . " I donno, some fool wanting to know if da coast vas clear.

HONEYMOON TRIP - On their honeymoon trip they were nearing Minneapolis when Ole put his hand on Lena's knee. Giggling, Lena said, " 'Ole, you can go farther than that if you vant to. "   So Ole drove to Duluth.

GO TO TOWN - Ole was arrested one night while walking bare naked down the streets of Alexandria, Minnesota .  The policeman, who was a good friend of Ole's said, "Ole...What in the world are you doing? Where are your clothes?  You're naked. " "Yah, I know, " said Ole."  You see, I vas over to dat playboy Swen's for his birthday party.  Dere vas about ten of us.   Der vas boys and girls." 

"Is that right? “, his policeman friend asked.    "Yah, Yah, anyvay, dat Swen, he says, 'Everybody get into the bedroom!'   So vee all go into the bedroom....where den he yells, 'Everybody git naked!' '  Vel, vee all got undressed.  Den he yells, 'Everybody go to town!'   And, well, I guess I'm the first one here.


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