[BITList] Fwd: WOMEN ALWAYS GET IN THE LAST WORD
michael J Feltham
ismay at mjfeltham.plus.com
Tue May 1 23:20:57 BST 2018
>
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>> WOMEN ALWAYS GET THE LAST WORD
>> WOMEN'S
>> REVENGE
>>
>> 'Cash, check or charge?' I
>> asked, after folding items the woman wished to purchase.
>> As
>> she fumbled for her wallet, I noticed a remote control for a
>> television set in her purse.
>> 'So, do you always carry your TV
>> remote?' I asked.
>> 'No,' she replied, 'but my husband
>> refused to come shopping with me,
>> and I figured this
>> was the most evil thing I could do to him legally.'
>>
>>
>>
>>
>> WIFE VS.
>> HUSBAND
>>
>> A couple
>> drove down a country road for several miles, not saying a word.
>> An earlier discussion had led to an argument and
>> neither of them wanted to concede their position.
>> As they passed a barnyard of mules, goats, and pigs,
>> the husband asked sarcastically,
>> 'Relatives of yours?'
>> 'Yep,' the wife replied,
>> 'in-laws'
>>
>> WORDS
>>
>> A husband read an article to his
>> wife about how many words women use a day.
>> 30,000 to a
>> man's 15,000.
>> The wife replied, 'The reason has to be because we have to repeat everything to men.
>> The husband then turned to his wife and asked, 'What?'
>>
>> CREATION
>>
>> A man said to his wife one day,
>> 'I don't know how you can be
>> so stupid and so beautiful all at the
>> same time.
>> 'The wife responded, 'Allow me to explain.
>> God made
>> me beautiful so you would be attracted to me;
>> God made me stupid
>> so I would be attracted to you!
>>
>>
>> WHO DOES
>> WHAT
>> A man and his wife were having
>> an argument about who
>> should brew the coffee each
>> morning.
>> The wife said, 'You should
>> do it because you get up first,
>> and then we don't have to wait as
>> long to get our coffee.
>> The husband said, 'You are in charge of
>> cooking around here and
>> you should do it, because that is your
>> job, and I can just wait for my coffee.'
>> Wife replies, 'No, you
>> should do it, and besides, it is in the Bible that the man should do the coffee.'
>> Husband replies, 'I can't
>> believe that, show me.'
>> So she fetched the Bible,
>> and opened the New Testament and showed him at the top of several
>> pages, that it indeed says
>> 'HEBREWS'
>>
>> The Silent
>> Treatment
>>
>> A man and his wife were having
>> some problems at home
>> and were giving each other the silent treatment.
>> Suddenly, the man realized that the next day, he would
>> need his wife to wake him
>> at 5:0 0 AM for an early morning
>> business flight.
>> Not wanting to be the first to break the
>> silence, he wrote on a piece of paper,
>> 'Please wake me
>> at 5:00 AM.' He left it where he knew she
>> would find it.
>> The next morning, the man
>> woke up, only to discover it was 9:00 AM and he had missed his flight
>> Furious, he
>> was about to go and see why his wife hadn't wakened him,
>> when he noticed a piece of
>> paper by the bed.
>> The paper said, 'It is 5:00
>> AM. Wake up.'
>> Men are not equipped for these kinds of
>> contests.
>>
>> God may have
>> created man before woman, but there is always a rough draft before the masterpiece
>>
>> SEND THIS TO
>> SMART WOMEN WHO NEED A LAUGH AND TO MEN YOU THINK CAN HANDLE IT!
>>
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