[BITList] FOR A SMILE!!

[michael J Feltham]

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> * Just read that 4,153,237 people got married last year, not to cause any trouble but shouldn't that be an even number?
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> * Today a man knocked on my door and asked for a small donation towards the local swimming pool. I gave him a glass of water.
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> * I want to die peacefully in my sleep, like my grandfather.. Not screaming and yelling like the passengers in his car.
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> * If I had a dollar for every girl that found me unattractive, they would eventually find me attractive.
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> * I find it ironic that the colours red, white, and blue stand for freedom until they are flashing behind you.
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> * When wearing a bikini, women reveal 90 % of their body... men are so polite they only look at the covered parts.
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> * A recent study has found that women who carry a little extra weight, live longer than the men who mention it.
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> * Relationships are a lot like algebra. Have you ever looked at your X and wondered Y?
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> * America is a country which produces citizens who will cross the ocean to fight for democracy but won't cross the street to vote.
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> * You know that tingly little feeling you get when you like someone? That's your common sense leaving your body.
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> * Did you know that dolphins are so smart that within a few weeks of captivity, they can train people to stand on the very edge of the pool and throw them fish?
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> * My therapist says I have a preoccupation with vengeance. We'll see about that.
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> * I think my neighbour is stalking me as she's been googling my name on her computer. I saw it through my telescope last night.
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> * Strong people don't put others down. They lift them up and slam them on the ground for maximum damage.
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> * Money talks ...but all mine ever says is good-bye.
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> * You're not fat, you're just.... easier to see.
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> * If you think nobody cares whether you're alive, try missing a couple of payments.
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> ooroo
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