[BITList] Grins and snickers

[FA]

            *_Grins and Snickers_*
            *I was in the six item express lane at the store quietly
            fuming.*
            *Completely ignoring the sign, the woman ahead of me had
            slipped into the check-out line pushing a cart piled high
            with groceries. Imagine my delight when the cashier beckoned
            the woman to come forward looked into the cart and asked
            sweetly, "So which six items would you like to buy?"*
            Wouldn't it be great if that happened more often?
            ------------------------------------------------------------
            *Because they had no reservations at a busy restaurant, my
            elderly neighbor and his wife were told there would be a 45
            minute wait for a table.*
            *"Young man, we're both 90 years old," the husband said. "We
            may not have 45 minutes."*
            *They were seated immediately.*
            *---------------------------------------* *
            The reason Politicians try so hard to get re-elected is that
            they would "hate" to have to make a living under the laws
            they have passed.*
            *-----------------------------------------------*
            *All eyes were on the radiant bride as her father escorted
            her down the aisle. They reached the altar and the waiting
            groom. The bride kissed her father and placed something in
            his hand.*
            *The guests in the front pews responded with ripples of
            laughter. Even the priest smiled broadly.*
            *As her father gave her away in marriage, the bride gave him
            back his credit card.*
            *-----------------------------------------------* *
            Women and cats will do as they please, and men and dogs
            should relax and get used to the idea.
            -----------------------------------------------*
            *Three friends from the local congregation were asked, "When
            you're in your casket, and friends and congregation members
            are mourning over you, what would you like them to say?"*
            *Artie said, "I would like them to say I was a wonderful
            husband, a fine spiritual leader, and a great family man."*
            *Eugene* *commented, "I would like them to say I was a
            wonderful teacher and servant of God who made a huge
            difference in people's lives.."*
            *Al said, "I'd like them to say, 'Look, he's moving!'"*
            *------------------------------------------------------------*
            **
            *Smith climbs to the top of * *Mt.* ** *Sinai* *to get close
            enough to talk to God.*
            *Looking up, he asks the Lord. "God, what does a million
            years mean to you?"*
            *The Lord replies, "A minute."*
            *Smith asks, "And what does a million dollars mean to you?"*
            *The Lord replies, "A penny."*
            *Smith asks, "Can I have a penny?"*
            *The Lord replies, "In a minute."*
            -------------------------------------------------
            *John was on his deathbed and gasped pitifully, "Give me one
            last request, dear," he said.*
            *"Of course, John," his wife said softly.*
            *Six months after I die," John said, "I want you to marry
            Bob."*
            *"But I thought you hated Bob," she said..*
            *With his last breath John said, "I do!"*
            --------------------------------------
            *A man goes to see the Rabbi. '*
            *"Rabbi, something terrible is happening and* ** *I* *have
            to talk to you about it."*
            *The Rabbi asked, "What's wrong?"*
            *The man replied, "My wife is going to poison* ** *me."*
            *The Rabbi, very surprised by this, asks, "How can that be?"*
            *The man then pleads, "I'm telling you, I'm certain she's
            going to poison me.What should I do?"*
            *The Rabbi then offers, "Tell you what. Let me talk to her,
            I'll see what I can find out and I'll let you know."*
            *A week later the Rabbi calls the man and says, "I spoke to*
            *your wife on the phone for three hours. You want my advice?*
            *The man said, "Yes" and the Rabbi replied, "Take the poison."*



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