[BITList] QUICKIES

[John Feltham]

From a correspondent …


Low Battery:  A man saved his girlfriend's phone number on his  mobile as Low Battery'. Whenever she calls him, in his absence, his wife  takes thephone and plugs it into the charger. Give that man a medal.
 
Government Survey: A government survey has shown that 91 percent of illegal immigrants come to Australia so that they can see their own  doctor.
  
Two Thai girls asked me if I'd like to go bed with them; they said it would be just like winning Lotto! I agreed, and they were right. We all  stripped off, and to my horror, we had six matching balls!

Such an unfair world: When a man talks dirty to a woman it's considered sexual harassment. When a woman talks dirty to a man, it's $2.50/min  (charges may vary).

 Valentine's Day:  Just booked a table for Valentine's Day for me and the wife. Bound to end in tears though; she's lousy at snooker.
 
Got a new Jack Russell pup today. He's mainly black and brown with just a small white area. I've called him England.
 
If you get an email telling you that you can catch swine flu from tins of ham then delete it. It's spam.
 
They say that sex is the best form of exercise. Correct me if I'm wrong, but I don't think 2 minutes and 15 seconds every 3 months is going to  shift this beer belly.