[BITList] In the queue at the supermarket.

[John Feltham]

Yesterday  I was at my local COLES store buying a large
bag of Pedigree dog food for my loyal pet and was in the
checkout queue when a woman behind me asked if I had a  dog.

What did she think I had, an elephant? 

So, since I'm retired and have 
little to do, on impulse I  told her that no, I didn't have a dog, I was
starting  the Pedigree Diet again.  I added that I probably  shouldn’t,
because I ended up in hospital last time,  but I'd lost 2 stone before I
woke up in intensive care with tubes coming out of most of my orifices
and IV's in both arms.

I told her that it was essentially a perfect diet and that the way that
it works is to load your pockets with Pedigree nuggets and simply eat 
one or two every time you feel hungry.  The food is nutritionally
complete so it works well and I was going to try it again.  (I have to
mention here that  practically everyone in queue was now enthralled with
my story.)

Horrified, she asked me if I ended up in intensive care because the dog
food  poisoned me.  I told her no, I stepped off the kerb to sniff an
Irish Setter's bum and a car hit me.

I  thought the guy behind her was going to have a heart  attack he was
laughing so hard. 

I'm now banned from Coles.  Better watch what you ask retired people.  
They have all the time in the world to think of daft things to  say.





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