[BITList] Adopt a Terrorist

[FA]

*A Canadian female (Canadian) libertarian wrote a lot of letters to the 
Canadian government, complaining about the treatment of captive 
insurgents (terrorists) being held in Afghanistan National Correctional 
System facilities. She demanded a response to her letter correspondence.*

*She received back the following reply:*

*National Defense Headquarters*
*M Gen George R. Pearkes Bldg.,15 NT*
*101 Colonel By Drive*
*Ottawa,ON K1A 0K2*
*Canada*

*Dear Concerned Citizen,*

*Thank you for your recent letter expressing your profound concern of 
treatment of the Taliban and Al Qaeda terrorists captured by Canadian 
Forces who were subsequently transferred to the Afghanistan Government 
and are currently being held by Afghan officials in Afghanistan National 
Correctional System facilities.*

*Our administration takes these matters seriously and your opinions were 
heard loudly and clearly here in Ottawa. You will be pleased to learn, 
thanks to the concerns of citizens like yourself, we are creating a new 
department here at the Department of National Defense, to be called 
‘Libertarians Accept Responsibility for Killers' program, or L.A.R.K. 
for short.*

*In accordance with the guidelines of this new program, we have decided 
to divert one terrorist and place him in your personal care. Your 
personal detainee has been selected and is scheduled for transportation 
under heavily armed guard to your residence in Toronto next Monday.*

*Ali Mohammed Ahmed bin Mahmud (you can just call him Ahmed) is to be 
cared for pursuant to the standards you personally demanded in your 
letter of complaint!*

*It will likely be necessary for you to hire some assistant caretakers. 
We will conduct weekly inspections to ensure that your standards of care 
for Ahmed are commensurate with those you so strongly recommended in 
your letter. Although Ahmed is a sociopath and extremely violent, we 
hope that your sensitivity to what you described as his ‘attitudinal 
problem’ will help him overcome these character flaws.*

*Perhaps you are correct in describing these problems as mere cultural 
differences. We understand that you plan to offer counseling and home 
schooling. Your adopted terrorist is extremely proficient in 
hand-to-hand combat and can extinguish human life with such simple items 
as a pencil or nail clippers.  We advise that you do not ask him to 
demonstrate these skills at your next yoga group. Please advise any 
Jewish friends, neighbors or relatives about your house guest, as he 
might get agitated or even violent, but we are sure you can reason with 
him.  He is also expert at making a wide variety of explosive devices 
from common household products, so you may wish to keep those items 
locked up,unless (in your opinion) this might offend him.*

*Ahmed will not wish to interact with you or your daughters (except 
sexually) since he views females as a subhuman form of property thereby 
having no rights, including refusal of his sexual demands.  This is a 
particularly sensitive subject for him and he has been known to show 
violent tendencies around women who fail to comply with the new dress 
code that he will "recommend" as more appropriate attire.*

*I'm sure you will come to enjoy the anonymity offered by the burka over 
time.  Just remember that it is all part of 'respecting his culture and 
religious beliefs' as described in your letter.*

*Thanks again for your concern. We truly appreciate it when folks like 
you keep us informed of the proper way to do our job and care for our 
fellow man. You take good care of Ahmed and remember we'll be watching.*

*Good luck and God bless you,*

*Cordially,*
*Gordon O'Connor*
*Minister of National Defense*
*----------------------------------------------*


*BLOODY BRILLIANT !*




	


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