[BITList] Some more from Australia

[John Feltham]

Rural Australian Computer Terminology 

LOG ON: Adding wood to make the barbie hotter. 
LOG OFF: Not adding any more wood to the barbie. 
MONITOR: Keeping an eye on the barbie. 
DOWNLOAD: Getting the firewood off the Ute. 
HARD DRIVE: Making the trip back home without any cold tinnies. 
KEYBOARD: Where you hang the Ute keys. 
WINDOW: What you shut when the weather's cold. 
SCREEN: What you shut in the mozzie season. 
BYTE: What mozzies do. 
MEGABYTE: What Townsville mozzies do. 
CHIP: A bar snack. 
MICROCHIP: What's left in the bag after you've eaten the chips. 
MODEM: What you did to the lawns. 
LAPTOP: Where the cat sleeps. 
SOFTWARE: Plastic knives & forks you get at Red Rooster. 
HARDWARE: Stainless steel knives & forks - from K-Mart. 
MOUSE: The small rodent that eats the grain in the shed. 
MAINFRAME: What holds the shed up. 
WEB: What spiders make. 
WEBSITE: Usually in the shed or under the verandah. 
SEARCH ENGINE: What you do when the Ute won't go. 
CURSOR: What you say when the Ute won't go. 
YAHOO: What you say when the Ute does go. 
UPGRADE: A steep hill. 
SERVER: The person at the pub who brings out the counter lunch. 
MAIL SERVER: The bloke at the pub who brings out the counterlunch. 
USER: The neighbour who keeps borrowing things. 
NETWORK: What you do when you need to repair the fishing net. 
INTERNET: Where you want the fish to go. 
NETSCAPE: What the fish do when they discover the hole in the net. 
ONLINE: Where you hang the washing. 
OFFLINE: Where the washing ends up when the pegs aren't strong enough.