[BITList] Fwd: Titanic, ITV1, review - Telegraph

[HUGH]

Mike,

So the grim area with the coal, etc, was the engine room.

In the late 60s I wrote a satirical piece for my own amusement, as a riposte 
to film, etc, portrayals of life at sea.  It took the form of a piece 
written by some prat calling himself Wotherington Pugh about a cruise in 
1966.  The Captain of the liner had summoned the engineer to his suite to 
tell Pugh about life below.  The engineer was Jock, a hairy Scot about 5 
feet high, clad in oily black that had once been grey. His eyes shone 
intelligently through deeply ingrained dirt and grease.  He transferred his 
oilcan from one hand to another and wiped the sweat from his honest brow 
before answering Pugh's question about his duties down below.

"Man, I dae a'thing, " Jock said.  "Frae the thrust block tae the piston, 
frae the propeller tae the paddle boxes.  If they squeak, I oil them.  If 
they dinna gae as weel as they micht, I adjust them wi' my wee spanner here. 
Mony a day I've lain in the forrard hold, pouring oil on a hot axle bearing. 
If the piston comes oot o' line, it's me that has tae get my crowbar and 
force it intae line again.  And if the pump shows signs o' failing, who has 
tae tend it till the gauges open up again?  Who else but me, Jock MacIlwee, 
the chief engineer."

Inspired by this, Pugh volunteered to visit the engine room with Jock. They 
climbed the funnel and descended into the steam laden murk below.  On 
viewing the great brass wheels on the safety valve, Pugh was deeply 
impressed.  "Whaur's your radar noo?" Jock asked him.  Pugh was at a loss 
for an answer.

My description of the boiler room wasn't a kick in the bum away from the one 
I saw on TV the other night. Fiery maws and coal and surly oafs.  The TV 
omitted the bottles of rum, and Jock's whip that kept the rabblem in line.

Plus ca change ....

Hugh.