[BITList] Old Tombstones

[Michael Feltham]

Old Tombstones . .
=============================


Born 1903--Died 1942.
Looked up the elevator shaft to see if the
car was on the way down. It was.

=============================

In a Thurmont, Maryland, cemetery:

Here lies an Atheist, all dressed up
and no place to go.

=============================

On the grave of Ezekial Aikle in
East Dalhousie Cemetery, Nova Scotia:

Here lies Ezekial Aikle, Age 102.
Only the good die young.


=============================

In a Ribbesford, England, cemetery:

Anna Wallace
The children of Israel wanted bread,
And the Lord sent them manna.
Clark Wallace wanted a wife,
And the Devil sent him Anna.

===============================

In a Uniontown, Pennsylvania, cemetery:

Here lies the body of Jonathan Blake,
Stepped on the gas instead of the brake.


=============== =================

A lawyer's epitaph in England:

Sir John Strange.
Here lies an honest lawyer,
and that is Strange.

=================================

John Penny's epitaph in the Wimborne,
England, cemetery:

Reader, if cash thou art in want of any,
Dig 6 feet deep and thou wilt find a Penny.

==================================

In a cemetery in Hartscombe, England:

On the 22nd of June, Jonathan Fiddle went out of tune.

==================================

On a grave from the 1880s in Nantucket,
Massachusetts:

Under the sod and under the trees,
Lies the body of Jonathan Pease.
He is not here, there's only the pod,
Pease shelled out and went to God.

==================================

In a cemetery in England:

Remember man, as you walk by,
As you are now, so once was I.
As I am now, so shall you be,
Remember this and follow me.

To which someone replied by writing on the tombstone:

To follow you I'll not consent,
Until I know which way you went.

A practical example of how the human mind works . .

Analysis of the above picture can tell us a lot about how different people think.

- For young men, it's a picture of a lady with a nice derriere but only the most observant will notice that she is crossing a street.

- The really observant will notice that she is wearing a thong.

- For older men, she appears to be a respectable woman - with a nice tush - on her way to work.

- The perverts among them will imagine her naked.

- Wiser men will ponder the presence of mind of the photographer to take the shot in the face of such beauty and be grateful that they shared it.

- For half of the women, this is an ordinary woman who should not have left home dressed that way.

- The other half will think she is a slut but wonder where she bought that blouse.

- Older women will imagine the misery that the woman's curves will cause by the time she reaches 50.

- But only children, the extremely intelligent and the celibate will notice that the taxi is being driven by a dog.

-------------- next part --------------
An HTML attachment was scrubbed...
URL: http://lists.bcn.mythic-beasts.com/pipermail/bitlist/attachments/20120323/aa2bc71c/attachment-0001.shtml 
-------------- next part --------------
A non-text attachment was scrubbed...
Name: ATT000013.gif
Type: image/gif
Size: 42 bytes
Desc: not available
Url : http://lists.bcn.mythic-beasts.com/pipermail/bitlist/attachments/20120323/aa2bc71c/attachment-0001.gif 
-------------- next part --------------
A non-text attachment was scrubbed...
Name: image001.jpg
Type: image/jpeg
Size: 68925 bytes
Desc: not available
Url : http://lists.bcn.mythic-beasts.com/pipermail/bitlist/attachments/20120323/aa2bc71c/attachment-0001.jpg