[BITList] ALERTS TO THREATS IN 2012 EUROPE : BY JOHN CLEESE

[David Harvey]

I dunno Col, much as I respect John I think he may have got it wrong about
Australia. In 1931/2 Australia was considering invading England because of
Messers Jardine, Larwood and Voce and I think a few BBQ's were cancelled.
Then we, in turn, had to look to our defences in 1981 when the Chappel
brothers created a minor incident that the Kiwis weren't too happy about.

Things were pretty serious.

Dave

On 10 March 2012 22:44, COLIN TAYLOR <s14engine at hotmail.com> wrote:

> ********************
>
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> *Subject:* FW: FW: ALERTS TO THREATS IN 2012 **EUROPE** : BY JOHN CLEESE
>
> ct****
>
>  ****
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>  ****
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>                    *ALERTS TO THREATS IN 2012 EUROPE : BY JOHN CLEESE*****
>
> The English are feeling the pinch in relation to recent events in **Libya*
> *, **Egypt** and ****Syria**** and have therefore raised their security
> level from "Miffed" to "Peeved." Soon, though, security levels may be
> raised yet again to "Irritated" or even "A Bit Cross."****
>
> The English have not been "A Bit Cross" since the blitz in 1940 when tea
> supplies nearly ran out. Terrorists have been re-categorized from
> "Tiresome" to "A Bloody Nuisance." The last time the British issued a
> "Bloody Nuisance" warning level was in 1588, when threatened by the Spanish
> Armada.****
>
> The Scots have raised their threat level from "Pissed Off" to "Let's get
> the Bastards." They don't have any other levels. This is the reason they
> have been used on the front line of the British army for the last 300 years.
> ****
>
> The French government announced yesterday that it has raised its terror
> alert level from "Run" to "Hide." The only two higher levels in ****France
> **** are "Collaborate" and "Surrender." The rise was precipitated by a
> recent fire that destroyed ****France****'s white flag factory,
> effectively paralyzing the country's military capability.****
>
> ****Italy**** has increased the alert level from "Shout Loudly and
> Excitedly" to "Elaborate Military Posturing." Two more levels remain:
> "Ineffective Combat Operations" and "Change Sides."        ****
>
> The Germans have increased their alert state from "Disdainful Arrogance"
> to "Dress in Uniforms and Sing Marching Songs." They also have two higher
> levels: "Invade a Neighbour" and "Lose."****
>
> Belgians, on the other hand, are all on holiday as usual; the only threat
> they are worried about is NATO pulling out of ****Brussels**** .****
>
> The Spanish are  all excited to see their new submarines ready to deploy.
> These beautifully designed subs have glass bottoms so the new Spanish navy
> can get a really good look at the old Spanish navy.****
>
> ****Australia****, meanwhile, has raised its security level from "No
> worries" to "She'll be alright, Mate." Two more escalation levels remain:
> "Crikey! I think we'll need to cancel the barbie this weekend!" and "The
> barbie is cancelled." So far no situation has ever warranted use of the
> final escalation level.****
>
> -- John Cleese - British writer, actor and tall person.****
>
> A final thought -“**Greece** is collapsing, the Iranians are getting
> aggressive, and ****Rome**** is in disarray. Welcome back to 430 BC”.
>
>
>
>
>
>
>
> ****
>
> ****
>
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