[BITList] Kiwi as it is spoke.

[John Feltham]

Then there is the most recent new state of Australia which lies across the detch, also known as the Tasman Sea.

They speak an almost indiscernible patois something like the following.........

 
Have you spent years trying and failing to understand what they're saying? 

Just by following these easy steps, you too can hold a conversation with a New Zealander. 

What you hear and what it means:

A MEDGEN: visualise, conjure up mentally,

BETTING: 'Betting Gloves' are worn by 'betsmen' in 'crucket'.

BRIST: Part of the human anatomy between the 'nick' and the 'billy'.

BUGGER: As in 'mine is bugger then yours'.

CHULLY BUN: 'Chilly bin' also known as an ESKY'

COME YOUSE: Controversial captain of the Australian cricket team who resigned tearfully in favour of Allan Border. Full name: Kimberley John Hughes.

DIMMER KRETZ: Those who believe in democracy.

ERROR BUCK: Language spoken in countries like 'Surria', 'E-Jupp' and 'Libernon. '

EKKA DYMOCKS: University staff.

GUESS: Flammable vapour used in stoves.

CHICK OUT CHUCKS: Supermarket point of sale operators.

SENDLES: Sandals, thongs and open shoes.

COLOUR: Terminator, violent forecloses of human life.

CUSS: Kiss.

DUCK HID: Term of abuse directed mainly at males.

PHAR LAP: New Zealand's famous racehorse christened Phillip but was incorrectly written down as 'Phar Lap' by an Australian racing official who was not well versed in Kiwi-ese.

DUNNESTY: US television soap opera starred Joan Collins as Elixirs Kerrungton. '

ERROR ROUTE: Arnott's famous oval-shaped 'mulk error route buskets'.

FITTER CHENEY. A type of long flat pasta, not to be confused with 'Rugger Tony' or 'Tell ya. Tilly'.