[BITList] SENIORS IN ARIZONA
franka
franka at iinet.net.au
Thu Mar 24 09:44:29 GMT 2011
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SENIORS IN ARIZONA
cid:E679423D-5EA2-438B-98F9-3824D2B21B6A
*Getting old in Arizona*
cid:CC83572895DA4DCAB908BBDBDAB43862 at SandyPC
Two elderly ladies are sitting on the front porch in
Scottsdale, doing nothing.
One lady turns and asks, 'Do you still get horny?'
The other replies, 'Oh sure I do.'
The first old lady asks, 'What do you do about it?'
The second old lady replies, 'I suck a lifesaver.'
After a few moments, the first old lady asks, 'Who drives you to
the beach?'
**********************************************************
cid:FCC5A990B19B4B3F86FF57A466D42617 at SandyPC
Three old ladies were sitting side by side in their retirement
home in Phoenix reminiscing. The first lady recalled shopping
at the green grocers and demonstrated with her hands, the length
and thickness of a cucumber she could buy for a penny.
The second old lady nodded, adding that onions used to be much
bigger and cheaper also, and demonstrated the size of two big
onions she could buy for a penny a piece..
The third old lady remarked, 'I can't hear a word you're saying,
but I remember the guy you're talking about.
**********************************************************
cid:D2387C7E0A6340F0B3FA541E62F841D4 at SandyPC
A little old lady was sitting on a park bench in The Sun Lakes,
anArizona Adult community. A man walked over and sits down on
the other end of the bench. After a few moments, the woman asks,
'Are you a stranger here?'
He replies, 'I lived here years ago.'
'So, where were you all these years?'
'In prison,' he says.
'Why did they put you in prison?'
He looked at her, and very quietly said, 'I killed my wife.'
'Oh!' said the woman. 'So you're single...?!'
**********************************************************
cid:8D5A7BBF74B948A8AFA33E1F1995388C at SandyPC
Two elderly people living in Apache Junction, he was a widower
and she a widow, had known each other for a number of years. One
evening there was a community supper in the big arena in the
Clubhouse.
The two were at the same table, across from one another. As the
meal went on, he took a few admiring glances at her and finally
gathered the courage to ask her, 'Will you marry me?'
After about six seconds of 'careful consideration,' she answered
'Yes. Yes, I will!'
The meal ended and, with a few more pleasant exchanges, they
went to their respective places. Next morning, he was troubled.
'Did she say 'yes' or did she say 'no'?'
He couldn't remember. Try as he might, he just could not recall.
Not even a faint memory. With trepidation, he went to the
telephone and called her..
First, he explained that he didn't remember as well as he used
to. Then he reviewed the lovely evening past.. As he gained a
little more courage, he inquired, 'When I asked if you would
marry me, did you say ' Yes' or did you say 'No'?'
He was delighted to hear her say, 'Why, I said, 'Yes, yes I
will' and I meant it with all my heart.' Then she continued,
'And I am so glad that you called, because I couldn't remember
who had asked me.'
**********************************************************
cid:8BE72A8563B24523A6DA0173B824D9DC at SandyPC
A man was telling his neighbor in Mesa, 'I just bought a new
hearing aid. It cost me four thousand dollars, but it's state of
the art. It's perfect.'
'Really,' answered the neighbor. 'What kind is it?'
'Twelve thirty.'
**********************************************************
cid:8BE72A8563B24523A6DA0173B824D9DC at SandyPC
A little old man shuffled slowly into the 'Orange Dipper', an
ice cream parlor in Gilbert , and pulled himself slowly,
painfully, up onto a stool.
After catching his breath he ordered a banana split.
The waitress asked kindly, 'Crushed nuts?'
'No,' he replied, 'hemorrhoids
**********************************************************
Life is short!
Break the rules!
Forgive quickly!
Love truly, Laugh uncontrollably..
And never regret
anything that made you smile
The best things in life are free until the government finds out
and taxes it.
(If you are what you eat, I need to eat a skinny person.)
**cid:DCA2E0AAAADB45BBA30C1025A1930126 at SandyPC
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