[BITList] Why Go to Church

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Why Go to Church ~ cute..
Subject: Why Go to Church ~ cute..


    
   Why  Go to  Church?
   One Sunday morning, a  mother went in to wake her son and tell him it was time  to get ready for church, to which he replied, "I'm not  going." 
"Why  not?" she asked.  
I'll  give you two good reasons," he said. "(1), they don't  like me, and (2), I don't like them."  
His  mother replied, "I'll give you two good reasons why you  SHOULD go to church: 
(1)  You're 59 years old, and (2) you're the pastor!" 
     
  The  Picnic    
A Jewish Rabbi  and a Catholic  Priest met at the town's  annual 4th of July  picnic.  Old friends, they began their usual  banter. 
"This  baked ham is really delicious," the priest teased the  rabbi. "You really ought to try it. I know it's against  your religion, but I can't understand why such a  wonderful food should be forbidden! You don't know what  you're missing. You just haven't lived until you've  tried Mrs. Hall's prized Virginia Baked Ham. Tell me,  Rabbi, when are you going to break down and try  it?" 
The  rabbi looked at the priest with a big grin, and said,  "At your  wedding."
   
The  Usher
   An elderly woman  walked into the local country church. The friendly usher  greeted her at the door and helped her up the flight of  steps.  
"Where  would you like to sit?" he asked politely. 
"The  front row, please," she answered. 
"You  really don't want to do that," the usher said. "The  pastor is really boring." 
"Do  you happen to know who I am?" the woman inquired. 
"No,"  he said. 
"I'm  the pastor's mother," she replied indignantly. 
"Do  you know who I am?" he asked. 
"No,"  she said. 
"Good,"  he answered.

Show and  Tell
 A kindergarten  teacher gave her class a "show and tell"  assignment.  Each student was instructed to bring  in an object that represented their religion to share  with the class. 
The  first student got up in front of the class and said, "My  name is Benjamin and I am Jewish and this is a Star of  David." 
The  second student got up in front of the class and said,  "My name is Mary. I'm a Catholic and this is a  Rosary." 
The  third student got in up front of the class and said, "My  name is Tommy. I am Methodist, and this is a  casserole."
    
The Best  Way To  Pray
A priest, a  minister and a guru sat discussing the best positions  for prayer, while a telephone repairman worked  nearby 
"Kneeling  is definitely the best way to pray," the priest  said. 
"No,"  said the minister. "I get the best results standing with  my hands outstretched to Heaven." 
"You're  both wrong," the guru said. "The most effective prayer  position is lying down on the floor." 
The  repairman could contain himself no longer. "Hey,  fellas," he interrupted. "The best prayin' I ever did  was when I was hangin' upside down from a telephone  pole."


Goat for  Dinner   
The young couple  invited their elderly pastor for Sunday  dinner.  While they were in the kitchen  preparing the meal, the minister asked their son what  they were having. 
"Goat,"  the little boy replied. 
"Goat?"  replied the startled man of the cloth, "Are you sure  about that?" 
"Yep,"  said the youngster. "I heard Dad say to Mom, 'Today is  just as good as any to have the old goat for dinner.'  "


    Lord, please keep Your  arm around my shoulder and Your hand over my mouth.  

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