[BITList] It's just retirement sex

[franka]

    Two men were talking.  'So, how's your sex life?'
    'Oh, nothing special. I'm having Pensionsex.'
    'Pension sex?'
    *'Yeah, you know; I get a little each month, but not enough to live
    on!'*

    *
    ------------------------------------------------------------------------
    *

    */LOUD SEX/*
    A wife went in to see a therapist and said,
    'I've got a big problem, doctor.
    Every time we're in bed and my husband climaxes,
    He lets out this ear splitting yell.'

    'My dear,' the  shrink said, 'that's completely natural.
    I don't see what the problem is.'
    'The problem is,' she complained, *'it wakes me up!'*

    *
    ------------------------------------------------------------------------
    *

    */QUIET SEX/*

    Tired of a listless sex life, the man came right out and asked his wife
    During a recent lovemaking session,
    'How come you never tell me when you have an orgasm?'
    She glanced at him and replied, *'You're never home!'*

    ------------------------------------------------------------------------



    */CONFOUNDED SEX/*
    A man was in a terrible accident, and his 'manhood' was mangled and
    torn from his body. His doctor assured him that modern medicine
    could give him back his manhood, but that his insurance wouldn't
    cover the surgery since it was considered cosmetic.
    The doctor said the cost would be $3,500 for 'small,
    $6,500 for 'medium,  and $14,000 for 'large.'

    The man was sure he would want a medium or large, but the doctor
    urged him
    To talk it over with his wife before he made any decision.
    The man called his wife on the phone and explained their options.
    The doctor came back into the room, and found the man looking dejected.

    'Well, what have the two of you decided?' asked the doctor.

    *'She'd rather remodel the kitchen*.'



    ------------------------------------------------------------------------

    *WEDDING ANNIVERSARY SEX*


    A husband and his wife had a bitter quarrel on the day of their
    40th wedding anniversary  The husband yelled, 'When you die, I'm getting
    You a headstone that reads:
    *'Here Lies My Wife - Cold As Ever'.'
    *
    'Yeah,' she  replies, 'when you die, I'm getting you a headstone
    that reads:
    *'Here Lies My Husband - Stiff At Last.' '*

    ------------------------------------------------------------------------


    *WOMEN'S HUMOROUS SEX*

    My husband came home with a tube of K Y jelly and said,
    'This will make you happy tonight.'
    He was right.  When he went out of the bedroom,
    *I squirted it all over the doorknobs.*
    *He couldn't get back in.*

    ------------------------------------------------------------------------



    *ELDERLY SEX*

    One night, an 87 year-old woman came home from Bingo and found
    Her 92 year-old husband in bed with another woman.
    She became violent and ended up pushing him off the balcony
    Of their 20th floor, assisted living apartment, killing him instantly.

    Brought before the court on the charge of murder,
    The judge asked her if she had anything to say in her defense.
    She began coolly, *'Yes, your honor.  I figured that at 92, if he
    could have sex...
    He could also fly.'*









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