[BITList] THIS COULD BE US SOMEDAY........

Sun Dec 4 00:35:12 GMT 2011

Heard em all before, but still good for a cackle.............

        *Couple  in their nineties** are both having problems
        remembering things. During a check-up,  the doctor tells them
        that they're physically okay, but they  might want to start
        writing things down to help them  remember**..*
        *Later  that night, while watching TV, the old man gets up from
        his  chair. 'Want anything while I'm in the kitchen?' he  asks.*
        *'Will  you get me a bowl of ice cream?'*
        *'Sure..'*
        *'Don't  you think you should write it down so you can remember
        it?' she  asks.*
        *'No,  I can remember it..'*
        *'Well,  I'd like some strawberries on top, too. Maybe you
        should write  it down, so as not to forget it?'*
        *He  says, 'I can remember that. You want a bowl of ice cream
        with  strawberries.'*
        *'I'd  also like whipped cream. I'm certain you'll forget that,
        write  it down?' she asks.*
        *Irritated,  he says, 'I don't need to write it down, I can
        remember it! Ice  cream with strawberries and whipped cream - I
        got it, for  goodness sake!'*
        *Then  he toddles into the kitchen. After about 20
          minutes,**The  old man returns from the kitchen and hands his
        wife a plate of  bacon and eggs.. She stares at the plate for a
          moment.
        **'Where's my toast  ?'
        *
        *
        An  elderly couple** had dinner at another couple's house, and
        after eating, the  wives left the table and went into the  kitchen.*
        *The  two gentlemen were talking, and one said, 'Last night we
        went  out to a new restaurant and it was really great.. I would
          recommend it very highly..'*
        *The  other man said, 'What is the name of the  restaurant?'*
        *The  first man thought and thought and finally said, 'What is
        the  name of that flower you give to someone you  love?*
        *You  know.... The one that's red and has  thorns.'*
        *'Do  you mean a rose?'*
        *'Yes,  that's the one,' replied the man. He then turned towards
        the  kitchen and yelled, 'Rose, what's the name of that
        restaurant we  went to last night?'*
        *
        Hospital  regulations** require a wheel chair for patients being
        discharged. However,  while working as a student nurse, I found
        one elderly gentleman  already dressed and sitting on the bed
        with a suitcase at his  feet, who insisted he**didn't  need my
        help to leave the hospital.*
        *After  a chat about rules being rules, he reluctantly let me
        wheel him  to the elevator.*
        *On  the way down I asked him if his wife was meeting  him.*
        *'I  don't know,' he said. 'She's still upstairs in the bathroom
          changing out of her hospital gown.'*
        *A senior  citizen**said to  his eighty-year old buddy:*
        *'So I  hear you're getting married?'*
        *'Yep!'*
        *'Do I  know her?'*
        *'Nope!'*
        *'This  woman, is she good looking?'*
        *'Not  really.'*
        *'Is she  a good cook?'*
        *'Naw,  she can't cook too well.'*
        *'Does  she have lots of money?'*
        *'Nope!  Poor as a church mouse.'*
        *'Well,  then, is she good in bed?'*
        *'I don't  know.'*
        *'Why in  the world do you want to marry her then?'*

        *'Because  she can still drive!'*
        *
        **A  man** was telling his neighbor, 'I just bought a new
        hearing aid. It  cost me four thousand dollars, but it's state
        of the art.. It's  perfect.'*

        *'Really,'  answered the neighbor . 'What kind is  it?'**'Twelve
          thirty..'*
        *
        Morris**, an 82  year-old man, went to the doctor to get a
          physical.*
        *A few  days later, the doctor saw Morris walking down the
        street with a  gorgeous young woman on his arm.*
        *A couple  of days later, the doctor spoke to Morris and said,
        'You're  really doing great, aren't you?'*
        *Morris  replied, 'Just doing what you said, Doc: 'Get a hot
        mamma and be  cheerful.''*

        *The  doctor said, 'I didn't say that.. I said, 'You've got a
        heart  murmur; be careful.'*

        *One  more. . .!*

        *A  little old man** shuffled slowly into an ice cream parlor
        and pulled himself  slowly, painfully, up onto a stool... After
        catching his breath,  he ordered a banana split.*
        *The  waitress asked kindly, 'Crushed nuts?'*
        *'No,'  he replied, 'Arthritis.'*

        *Now**,  before you '**/forget/',  send them on to some other
        folks you know who could use a good  laugh !!*

__________ Information from ESET NOD32 Antivirus, version of virus 
signature database 6669 (20111129) __________

The message was checked by ESET NOD32 Antivirus.

http://www.eset.com

__________ Information from ESET NOD32 Antivirus, version of virus 
signature database 6669 (20111129) __________

The message was checked by ESET NOD32 Antivirus.

http://www.eset.com

__________ Information from ESET NOD32 Antivirus, version of virus 
signature database 6670 (20111129) __________

The message was checked by ESET NOD32 Antivirus.

http://www.eset.com

------ End of Forwarded Message

No virus found in this message.
Checked by AVG - www.avg.com <http://www.avg.com>
Version: 2012.0.1873 / Virus Database: 2102/4651 - Release Date: 12/01/11

------------------------------------------------------------------------

No virus found in this message.
Checked by AVG - www.avg.com <http://www.avg.com>
Version: 10.0.1411 / Virus Database: 2102/4055 - Release Date: 12/03/11

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