[BITList] Aussie Investing

[M & E. HENDERSON.]

Twenty Pounds


On their wedding night, the young bride
Approached her new husband and asked 

For £20.00 for their first lovemaking
Encounter. In his highly aroused state,
Her husband readily agreed.
This scenario was repeated each time they made
Love, for more than 40 years, with him thinking that it was a
Cute way for her to afford new clothes and other incidentals that
She needed.
Arriving home around noon one day, she was
Surprised to find her husband in a very drunken state.
During the next few minutes, he explained that
His employer was going through a process of corporate
Downsizing, and he had been let go.


It was unlikely that, at the age of 59, he'd be able to find
Another position that paid anywhere near what
He'd been earning, and therefore, they were financially ruined.


Calmly, his wife handed him a bank book which
Showed more than forty years of steady deposits and interest totalling
Nearly £1 million. Then she showed him certificates of deposits issued
By the bank which were worth over £2 million,
And informed him that they were one of the largest depositors in the bank.

She explained that for more than forty years she had 'charged' him for sex,
These holdings had multiplied and these were the Results of her savings and
investments.



Faced with evidence of cash and investments
Worth over £3 million, her husband was so astounded he could
Barely speak, but finally he found his voice and blurted out,
'If I'd had any idea what you were doing, I would have given you all my
business!'

That's when she shot him.

You know, sometimes, men just don't know when
To keep their mouths shut

 

-----Original Message-----
From: bitlist-bounces at lists.bcn.mythic-beasts.com
[mailto:bitlist-bounces at lists.bcn.mythic-beasts.com] On Behalf Of David
Harvey
Sent: 22 August 2011 12:50
To: BitList
Subject: Re: [BITList] Aussie Investing

 

Heartily agree with those figures Frank. One thing though the retirement
village I live in invested $1m. with Lehman Bros. (Money on hand that had to
be used for rebuilding a bit down the track). At the Board Meeting where it
was decided to make this investment I spoke against it but was overruled by
the remainder of the Board, including the the Chairman who was the Western
Australian State Treasury Under Secretary and is now the State Auditor). I
thought the interest offered was too high and that it was an unsafe
investment. I succumbed to the better knowledge of things financial by those
"business" people who sat on the Board so eventually shut up. I was the
representative of 1100 residents in the Village.

 

Having said that though the interest on the investment is still being paid
although we are told the capital is gone. About 18 months ago the ANZ Bank
offered to purchase our investment at .95cents in the dollar. Again I was
the lone voice that wanted to accept, the logic being that with interest
already received we would not actually loose any cash. One other voice
wanted more detail, but I lost the argument.

 

I have since resigned from the Board.

 

Dave

On 22 August 2011 16:28, franka <franka at iinet.net.au> wrote:

 

Aussie  Investing 
  
If you had purchased $1,000 of shares in Delta Airlines one year ago, you
will have $49.00 today. 
If you had purchased $1,000 of shares in AIG one year ago, you will have
$33.00 today. 
If you had purchased $1,000 of shares in Lehman Brothers one year ago, you
will have $0.00 today. 
But, if you had purchased $1,000 worth of beer one year ago, drank all the
beer, then turned in the aluminum cans for recycling refund, you will have
received $214.00. 
Based on the above, the best current investment plan is to drink heavily &
recycle. It is called the 401-Keg. 
A recent study found that the average Australian walks about 900 miles a
year.
Another study found that Australians drink, on average, 22 gallons of
alcohol a year. 
That means that, on average, Australians get about 41 miles to the gallon!

Makes you proud to be an Australian! 

 

 


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