[BITList] Suicide Bombers to go on strike

[FS]

            *Subject: Suicide Bombers to go on strike*

            /
            //Muslim suicide bombers in Britain are set to begin a
            three-day strike on Monday in a dispute over the number of
            virgins they/
            /are entitled to in the afterlife.

            Emergency talks with Al Qaeda have so far failed to produce
            an agreement. The unrest began last Tuesday when Al Qaeda/
            /announced that the number of virgins a suicide bomber would
            receive after his death will be cut by 25% this February,
            from 72 to only 60.

            The rationale for the cut was the increase in recent years
            of the number of suicide bombings and a subsequent shortage
            of virgins in the afterlife.

            The suicide bombers union, the British Organization of
            Occupational Martyrs (BOOM) responded with a statement that
            this was unacceptable to its members and immediately
            balloted for strike action.

            General Secretary Abdullah Amir told the press: "Our members
            are literally working themselves to death in the cause of
            Jihad.  We don't ask for much in return, and to be treated
            like this is like a kick in the teeth."  Speaking from his
            shed in Tipton in the West Midlands, in which he currently 
            resides, Al Qaeda chief executive Osama bin Laden explained,

            "We sympathize with our workers concerns, but Al Qaeda is
            simply not in a position  to meet their demands./
            /They are simply not accepting the realities of modern-day
            Jihad in a competitive marketplace./
            /Thanks to Western depravity there is now a chronic shortage
            of virgins in the afterlife.
            It's a straight choice between reducing expenditure and
            laying people off.

            I don't like cutting wages but I'd hate to have to tell
            3,000 of my staff that they won't be able to blow themselves
            up."

            Spokespersons for the Union in the north east of England,
            Ireland, Wales, and the entire Australian continent stated
            that the strike would not affect their operations, as 
            "there are no virgins in their areas anyway."

            Apparently the drop in the number of suicide bombings has
            been put down to the emergence of Scottish singing star
            Susan Boyle - now that Muslims know what an actual virgin
            looks like they are not so keen on going to paradise./





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