[BITList] Fwd: CLEVER RESPONSES

[John Feltham]

 CLEVER RESPONSES



SMART ASS ANSWER #6

It was mealtime during  an airline flight.  
'Would you like dinner?'  
the flight attendant asked John, seated in front.  
'What are my choices?'  John asked.  
'Yes or no,' she  replied. 



SMART ASS ANSWER #5 

A flight attendant was stationed at the 
departure gate to check tickets. 
As a man approached, she extended her 
hand for the ticket and he 
opened his trench coat and flashed her. 
Without missing a beat, she said, 
'Sir, I need to see your ticket, not your stub.' 


SMART ASS ANSWER #4 

A lady was picking through the frozen turkeys at 
the grocery store but she couldn't find one 
big enough for her family. She asked a stock boy, 
'Do these turkeys get any bigger?' 
The stock boy replied, 'No ma'am, they're dead.' 


SMART ASS ANSWER #3 

The police officer got out of his car as the 
kid who was stopped for speeding 
rolled down his window. 'I've been waiting for 
you all day,' the officer said. The kid replied, 
Yeah, well I got here as fast as I could.' 
When the cop finally stopped laughing, 
he sent the kid on his way without a ticket. 


SMART ASS ANSWER #2 

A truck driver was driving along on the freeway and 
noticed a sign that read: Low Bridge Ahead. 
Before he knows it, the bridge is right in front of him 
and his truck gets wedged under it. 
Cars are backed up for miles.. Finally a police car 
comes up. The cop gets out of his car and 
walks to the truck driver, puts his hands on his 
hips and says, 'Got stuck, huh?' 
The truck driver says, 'No, I was delivering this 
bridge and I ran out of gas.' 


SMART ASS ANSWER OF THE YEAR 2009 !! 

A college teacher reminds her class of tomorrow's final exam. 
'Now class, I won't tolerate any excuses for 
you not being here tomorrow. I might consider a nuclear 
attack or a serious personal injury, illness, or a death 
in your immediate family, but that's it, 
no other excuses whatsoever!' A smart-ass student in 
the back of the room raised his hand and asked, 
'What would you say if tomorrow I said I was suffering from 
complete and utter sexual exhaustion?' 
The entire class is reduced to laughter and snickering...
When silence was restored, the teacher smiled knowingly 
at the student , shook her head and sweetly said, 
'Well, I guess you'd have to write the exam with your other hand.' 
 
 

A BONUS EXTRA 

A woman is standing nude looking in the bedroom mirror. 
She is not happy with what she sees and says 
to her husband, 'I feel horrible; I look old, fat and ugly. 
I really need you to pay me a compliment.' 
The husband replies, 'Your eyesight's damn near perfect.'

Funeral services are private.




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