[BITList] Tesco's

[John Feltham]

Yesterday I was at my local Tesco's buying a large bag of Purina dog  
food for my Daughters Springer Spaniel and was in the checkout queue  
when a woman behind me asked if I had a dog.

What did she think I had, an elephant? So, since I'm retired and have  
little to do, on impulse I told her that no, I didn't have a dog, I  
was starting the Purina Diet again. I added that I probably shouldn't,  
because I ended up in hospital last time, but that I'd lost 2 stones  
before I woke up in intensive care with tubes coming out of most of my  
orifices and IVs in both arms.

I told her that it was essentially a perfect diet and that the way  
that it works is to load your pockets with Purina nuggets and simply  
eat one or two every time you feel hungry. The food is nutritionally  
complete so it works well and I was going to try it again. (I have to  
mention here that practically everyone in queue was now enthralled  
with my story.)

Horrified, she asked me if I ended up in intensive care because the  
dog food poisoned me. I told her no, I stepped off a curb to sniff an  
Irish Setter's arse and a car hit us both.

I thought the guy behind her was going to have a heart attack he was  
laughing so hard.

I'm now banned from the Tesco's.

Better watch what you ask retired people. They have all the time in  
the world to think of daft things to say.

Forward this (especially) to all your retired friends......it will be  
their laugh for the day.



ooroo

Bad typists of the word, untie.