[BITList] Fwd: How do these people survive?

Michael Feltham mj.feltham at madasafish.com
Fri Jan 23 23:37:32 GMT 2009


 From John's son, Michael

Begin forwarded message:

From: "Mike" <
Date: 23 January 2009 23:21:24 GMT
To: "Mike"
Subject: How do these people survive?

ONE
Recently, when I went to McDonald's I saw on the menu that you could  
have an order of 6, 9 or 12 Chicken McNuggets.
I asked for a half dozen nuggets.
'We don't have half dozen nuggets,' said the teenager at the counter.
'You don't?' I replied.
'We only have six, nine, or twelve,' was the reply.
'So I can't order a half dozen nuggets, but I can order six?'
'That's right.'
So I shook my head and ordered six McNuggets.
(Unbelievable but sadly true...)

TWO

I was checking out at the local Woolworths with just a few items and  
the lady behind me put her things on the belt close to mine. I picked  
up one of those 'dividers' that they keep by the cash register and  
placed it between our things so they wouldn't get mixed.
After the girl had scanned all of my items, she picked up the  
'divider', looking it all over for the bar code so she could scan it.
Not finding the bar code, she said to me, 'Do you know how much this  
is?'
I said to her 'I've changed my mind; I don't think I'll buy that today.'
She said 'OK,' and I paid her for the things and left.
She had no clue to what had just happened.

THREE
A woman at work was seen putting a credit card into her floppy drive  
and pulling it out very quickly.
When I inquired as to what she was doing, she said she was shopping on  
the Internet and they kept asking for a credit card number, so she was  
using the ATM 'thingy.'
(keep shuddering!!)

FOUR
I recently saw a distraught young lady weeping beside her car. 'Do you  
need some help?' I asked.
She replied, 'I knew I should have replaced the battery to this remote  
door unlocker. Now I can't get into my car. Do you think they  
(pointing to a distant convenience store) would have a battery to fit  
this?'
'Hmmm, I don't know. Do you have an alarm, too?' I asked.
'No, just this remote thingy,' she answered, handing it and the car  
keys to me. As I took the key and manually unlocked the door, I  
replied, 'Why don't you drive over there and check about the  
batteries. It's a long walk....'
PLEASE just lay down before you hurt yourself !!!



FIVE
Several years ago, we had an Intern who was none too swift. One day  
she was typing and turned to a secretary and said, 'I'm almost out of  
typing paper. What do I do?' 'Just use paper from the photocopier',  
the secretary told her. With that, the intern took her last remaining  
blank piece of paper, put it on the photocopier and proceeded to make  
five 'blank' copies.
Brunette, by the way!!

SIX
A mother calls 911 very worried asking the dispatcher if she needs to  
take her kid to the emergency room, the kid had eaten ants. The  
dispatcher tells her to give the kid some Benadryl and he should be  
fine, the mother says, 'I just gave him some ant killer......'
Dispatcher: 'Rush him in to emergency!'





Life is tough.






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