[BITList] Give Geese a Chance

[John Feltham]

If I Wrote For The Huffington Post - Give Geese A Chance
Posted By Andy Levy On January 15, 2009 (2:54 pm) In Media Criticism,  
News

Dear Arianna,

I'm looking for a job. What do you think?

In the wake of the events of 1-15, in which a wedge of Geese brought  
down a US Airways aircraft, here's what you won't be hearing about  
from the so-called "Mainstream Media": We brought this on ourselves.

After an event such as this one, it's important to look at the root  
causes: Why did the Geese attack us? Well, the truth is, for years we  
have been oppressing the Geese, using them for the fuel they provide  
for our bodies.

Boneless Goose Breast, Brandied Roast Goose, Roast Goose with  
Cumberland Sauce and Apricot Stuffing. And of course, the Christmas  
Goose. In the name of religion, we have been engaged in what can only  
be called a Crusade against the Geese. Is it any wonder that a few  
brave suicide Geese would seek revenge?

Under the neocon/neofascist Cheney-Bush administration, Goose  
consumption is up 1541%. Geese have been systematically deprived of  
their rights at a level never seen before. (Look around your  
workplace: do you see any Geese? Wouldn't you be nervous if you did?)  
Reports of shameful anti-Goose activity are at an all-time high,  
mainly in the South and Midwest, of course.

The fact is, WE (and, of course, Israel) are responsible for the rise  
of militant Gooslam.  Given our actions, is it any wonder that gaggles  
of Goslings would reject the teachings of moderate Goose leaders, when  
those leaders are perceived as being in the pocket of the West? Given  
our actions, is it any wonder that these young Gooslamists would flock  
to more assertive leaders, leaders whose commitment to their cause  
cannot be questioned? Given our actions, the rise of a "Goosama" was  
inevitable. We have only ourselves to blame. (Does anyone doubt that  
somewhere there's a photo of Donald Rumsfeld shaking hands with a  
Goose?)

In the moments right after 1-15, many have been quick to praise the  
actions of the US Airways pilot. But the TRUTH is that our pilots have  
been instruments of the BUSHITLER illegal war against the Geese. I  
know the Repuglicans will attack me for saying this, but speaking  
TRUTH TO POWER of course makes me a true PATRIOT. And very brave.

Right now America's relationship with other species couldn't be worse.  
Like most Americans, often when I'm hiking I find myself apologizing  
to woodland creatures for the actions of our illegitimate government.  
And like the rest of the world, I'm hopeful that once President Obama  
takes office, things will change, and that we will end our  
imperialistic attempts at hegemony over the rest of the planet. After  
all, if he can sit down with Iran and Hezbollah, he can sit down with  
the Geese.

Article taken from Big Hollywood - http://bighollywood.breitbart.com
URL to article: http://bighollywood.breitbart.com/alevy/2009/01/15/if-i-wrote-for-the-huffington-post-give-geese-a-chance/


  
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