[BITList] Word Perfect

[John Feltham]

If you have been around for a while you'll know that Word Perfect was a word processor that every one used before Micro$oft Word came along. So this is a very old joke!  :-)



Actual dialogue of a former WordPerfect Customer Support employee.
      (Now I know why they record these conversations!):


      Operator:       'Ridge Hall, computer assistance; may I help you?'
      Caller:            'Yes, well, I'm having trouble with WordPerfect.'
      Operator:       'What sort of trouble??'
      Caller:            'Well, I was just typing along, and all of a sudden 
                             the words went away.'
      Operator:       'Went away?'
      Caller:            'They disappeared'
      Operator:       'Hmm. So what does your screen look like now?'
      Caller:            'Nothing.'
      Operator:       'Nothing??'
      Caller:            'It's blank; it won't accept anything when I type.'
      Operator:       'Are you still in WordPerfect, or did you get out?'
      Caller:            'How do I tell?'
      Operator:       'Can you see the 'C: prompt' on the screen?'
      Caller:            'What's a sea-prompt?'
      Operator:       'Never mind, can you move your cursor around the screen?'
      Caller:            'There isn't any cursor; I told you, it won't accept anything I type.'
      Operator:       'Does your monitor have a power indicator??'
      Caller:            'What's a monitor?'
      Operator:       'It's the thing with the screen on it that looks like a TV.
                             Does it have a little light that tells you when it's on?'
      Caller:            'I don't know.'
      Operator:       'Well, then look on the back of the monitor and find where
                             the power cord goes into it. Can you see that??'
      Caller:            'Yes, I think so.'
      Operator:       'Great. Follow the cord to the plug, and tell me if it's
                             plugged into the wall.
      Caller:            'Yes, it is.'
      Operator:       'When you were behind the monitor, did you notice that
                             there were two cables plugged into the back of it, not just one? '
      Caller:            'No.'
      Operator:      'Well, there are. I need you to look back there again and
                            find the other cable.'
      Caller:           'Okay, here it is.'
      Operator:      'Follow it for me, and tell me if it's plugged securely into
                            the back of your computer..'
      Caller:           'I can't reach.'
      Operator:      'OK. Well, can you see if it is?'
      Caller:           'No..'
      Operator:      'Even if you maybe put your knee on something and lean
                            way over?'
      Caller:           'Well, it's not because I don't have the right angle -- it's
                      because it's dark.'
      Operator:      'Dark?'
      Caller:           'Yes - the office light is off, and the only light I have is
                            coming in from the window.'
      Operator:      'Well, turn on the office light then.'
      Caller:           'I can't.'
      Operator:      'No? Why not?'
      Caller:           'Because there's a power failure.'
      Operator:      'A power ...... A power failure? Aha. Okay, we've got it
                            licked now. Do you still have the boxes and manuals and
                            packing stuff that your computer came in?'
      Caller:          'Well, yes, I keep them in the closet.'
      Operator:     'Good. Go get them, and unplug your system and pack it
                           up just like it was when you got it. Then take it back to
                           the store you bought it from.'
      Caller:          'Really? Is it that bad?'
      Operator:     'Yes, I'm afraid it is.'
      Caller:          'Well, all right then, I suppose. What do I tell them?'
      Operator:    'Tell them you're too stupid to own a computer!'





ooroo

Bad typists of the word, untie.