[BITList] Glasgow school quiz

[Ronald Thomas]

                                The scene is Bishopbriggs Primary School , Glasgow.Teacher: 'Good morning children, today is Thursday, so we're going to   have a general knowledge quiz. 

                                The pupil who gets the answer right can have Friday and Monday off and     not come back to school until Tuesday.' 

                                Wee Murray thinks, 'Ya beauty! I'm pure dead brilliant at general     knowledge, so I am. This is goannae be a doddle!' 

                                Teacher: ' Right class, who can tell me who said. ' Don't ask what     our     country can do for you, but what you can do for your country?' 

                                Wee Murray shoots up his hand, waving furiously in the air. 

                                Teacher looking round picks Farqhuar Fauntleroy at the front. 

                                'Yes, Farqhuar?' Farqhuar (in a very English accent): ' Yes miss,     the     answer is J F Kennedy - inauguration speech    1960.' 

                                Teacher: 'Very good Farqhuar. You may stay off Friday and Monday and     we will see you back in class on Tuesday.' 

                                The next Thursday comes around, and Wee Murray is even more     determined. 

                                Teacher: 'Who said 'We will fight them on the beaches, we will fight     them in the air, we will fight them at sea. But we will never     surrender?' Wee Murray 's hand shoots up, arm stiff as a board,     shouting 'I know, I know. Pick me Miss, pick me Miss'. 

                                Teacher looking round and picks Tarquin Smythe, sitting at the front:     'Yes Tarquin.' 

                                Tarquin (in a very, very posh English accent): 'Yes miss, the answer     is Winston Churchill, 1941 Battle of Britain speech.' 

                                Teacher: 'Very good Tarquin, you may stay off Friday and Monday and     come back to class on Tuesday.' 

                                The following Thursday comes around and Wee Murray is hyper; he's been     studying encyclopaedias all week and    he's ready for anything that     comes. 

                                He's coiled in his chair, dribbling in anticipation. 

                                Teacher: 'Who said 'One small step for man, one giant leap for     mankind?' 

                                Wee Murray 's arm shoots straight in the air, he's standing on his     seat, jumping up and down screaming 'Pick me miss. Pick me miss. I     know, I know. Me Miss, me miss, meeeeee'. 

                                Teacher looking round the class picks Rupert, sitting at the front. 

                                'Yes, Rupert?' Rupert (in a frightfully, frightfully, ever so plummy     English accent): 

                                'Miss, that was Neil Armstrong, 1969, the first moon landing.' 

                                Teacher: 'Very good Rupert. You may stay off Friday and Monday and     come back into class on Tuesday.' 

                                Wee Murray loses the plot altogether, tips his desk and throws his     chair at the wall. He starts screaming: 'WHERE THE F@&K DID ALL THESE   ENGLISH B at ST@RDS COME FROM?' 

                                Teacher spins back    round from the blackboard and shouts: 'Who said     that?'    

                                Wee Murray grabs his coat and bag and heads for the door,   'Robert the Bruce, Bannockburn , 1314. See ye on Tuesday Miss!' 
                                 
                                 

                                 

                                 
                                 
                                 

                                 




                               
                               
                               
                               
                         


                   




             

             


     
   

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