[BITList] Seriously Not So

[fredmno at aol.com]

Salaams,
             sad but this appealed to me because of the last bit!
                            BR Fred


A tourist 
walked into a Brighton curio/antique 
shop.

After looking around for a while, he noticed a very life-like 
bronze statue of a rat.

It had no price tag, but it was so striking that 
he decided to buy it anyway.

He took it to the owner and said: 'How much 
is this bronze rat?'

The owner replied: 'It's £12 for the rat, and £100 
for the story.'

The tourist gave the owner his £12 and said: 'I'll just 
take the rat, you can keep the story.'

As he walked off down the street, 
he noticed that a few real rats had crawled out of the sewers and begun 
following him.

This was a little disconcerting, so he started to walk a 
little faster, but within a couple of blocks the swarm of rats had grown to 
hundreds, and they were all squealing and screeching in a very menacing 
way.

He increased his speed & ran on towards the beach, and as he 
ran, he looked behind him and saw the rats now numbered in their MILLIONS, and 
they were running faster & faster. By now very concerned, he ran down to the 
end of the pier and threw the bronze rat far out into the 
water.


Amazingly, the 
millions of real rats jumped into the water after it and were all 
drowned.

The man walked back to relate all this to the shop owner, who 
said: 'Ah, you've come back for the story then?'

'No,' said the tourist, 
'I came back to see if you've got a bronze Muslim Fundamentalist Cleric, a 
couple of immigrants, a Man U supporter and anything 
French!







Yet Anudder





                    

                    

                    

                    

                    

                    

                    

                    
The 
                    European Commission has just announced an agreement whereby 
                    English will be the official language of the European Union 
                    rather than German, which was the other possibility. 
                    


As part of the negotiations, the British 
                    Government conceded that English spelling had some room for 
                    improvement and has accepted a 5- year phase-in plan that 
                    would become known as 'Euro-English'. 
                    

In the first year, 's' will replace the soft 
                    'c'. Sertainly, this will make the sivil servants jump with 
                    joy. The hard 'c' will be dropped in favour of 'k'. This 
                    should klear up konfusion, and keyboards 
                    kan have one less letter. There will be 
                    growing publik enthusiasm in the sekond year when the 
                    troublesome 'ph' will be replaced with 'f'. This will make 
                    words like fotograf 20% shorter. 
                    

In 
                    the 3rd year, publik akseptanse of the new spelling 
                    kan be expekted to reach the stage 
                    where! more komplikated changes are possible. 
                    

Governments will enkourage the removal of 
                    double letters which have always ben a deterent to akurate 
                    speling. 
                    

Also, 
                    al wil agre that the horibl mes of the silent 'e' in the 
                    languag is disgrasful and it should go away. 
                    

By the 4th yer people wil be reseptiv to 
                    steps such as 
replasing 'th' with 'z' and 
                    'w' with 'v'. 

During ze fifz yer, ze 
                    unesesary 'o' kan be dropd from vords 
                    kontaining 
                    'ou' and after ziz fifz yer, ve vil hav a reil sensi 
                    bl 
                    riten styl. 

Zer v il be no mor trubl or 
                    difikultis and evrivun vil find it ezi tu understand ech 
                    oza. Ze drem of a united urop vil finali kum tru. 
                    

Und 
                    efter ze fifz yer, ve vil al be speking German like zey 
                    vunted in ze forst plas. 

If zis mad you 
                    smil, pleas pas on to oza 
                    pepl.









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