[BITList] Fwd: Retirement humor

[michael J Feltham]

>  
>  
>  
>  
> AARP- Australian Association of 
> Retired People
>  
> Questions and Answers from 
> CARP Forum
> Q: Where can single men over the age of 70 find 
> younger women who are interested in them?
> A: Try a bookstore, under 
> Fiction.
> Q: What can a man do while his wife is going
> through menopause?
> A: Keep busy. If you're handy with tools, you can 
> finish the basement.  When you're done, you will have a place to 
> live.
> Q: Someone has told me that menopause is
> mentioned in the bible... Is that true? 
> Where can it be 
> found?
> A: Yes. Matthew 14:92: 
> "And Mary rode 
> Joseph's ass all the way to   Egypt 
> ...."
> Q: How can you increase the heart rate of your 
> over-70 year-old husband?
> A: Tell him you're 
> pregnant.
> Q: How can you avoid that terrible curse of the 
> elderly wrinkles?
>  
> A: Take off your 
> glasses.
> Q: Seriously! What can I do for these crow's feet 
> and all those wrinkles on my face?
> A: Go braless. It will usually pull them 
> out..
> Q: Why should 70-plus year old people use valet 
> parking?
> A: Valets don't forget where they park your 
> car.
> Q: Is it common for 70-plus year olds to have 
> problems with  short term memory 
> storage?
> A: Storing memory is not a problem, Retrieving it 
> is the problem.
> Q: As people age, do they sleep more 
> soundly?
> A: Yes, but usually in the 
> afternoon.
> Q: Where should 70-plus year olds look for eye 
> glasses?
> A: On their 
> foreheads.
> Q: What is the most common remark made by 70-plus 
> year olds when they enter antique stores?
> A: "Gosh, I remember 
> these!"
> SMILE, 
> You've still got your sense of 
> humor!
>  
>  
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