[BITList] Gotta Luv Old People..SOme Oldies

[FA]

>>
>>
>>                             *_Gotta Luv Old People
>>                             _*
>>
>>
>>                             *A doctor that had been seeing an
>>                             80-year-old woman for most of her life
>>                             finally retired.  At her next checkup,
>>                             the new doctor told her to bring a list
>>                             of all the medicines that had been
>>                             prescribed for her.  As the doctor was
>>                             looking through these his eyes grew wide
>>                             as he realized Grandma had a prescription
>>                             for birth control pills.
>>                             "Mrs. Smith, do you realize these are
>>                             birth control pills?"
>>                             "Yes, they help me sleep at night."
>>                             "Mrs. Smith, I assure you there is
>>                             absolutely nothing in these that could
>>                             possibly help you sleep!"
>>                             She reached out and patted the young
>>                             doctor's knee and said, "Yes, dear, I
>>                             know that.  But every morning, I grind
>>                             one up and mix it in the glass of orange
>>                             juice that my 16-year-old Granddaughter
>>                             drinks.  And believe me it definitely
>>                             helps me sleep at night."
>>                             You **gotta love Grandmas!
>>                             *
>>
>>
>>                             *A man was riding on a full bus minding
>>                             his own business when the gorgeous woman
>>                             next to him started to breast-feed her
>>                             baby.  The baby wouldn't take it so she
>>                             said, "Come on sweetie, eat it all up or
>>                             I'll have to give it to this nice man
>>                             next to us."  Five minutes later the baby
>>                             was still not feeding, so she said, "Come
>>                             on, honey.  Take it or I'll give it to
>>                             this nice man here."  A few minutes later
>>                             the anxious man blurted out, "Come on
>>                             kid.  Make up your mind!  I was supposed
>>                             to get off four stops ago!"
>>                             *
>>
>>
>>                             *Students in an advanced Biology class
>>                             were taking their mid-term exam.  The
>>                             last question was, 'Name seven advantages
>>                             of Mother's Milk.'  The question was
>>                             worth 70 points or none at all.  One
>>                             student was hard put to think of seven
>>                             advantages  He wrote:
>>                             1)  It is perfect formula for the child.
>>                             2)  It provides immunity against several
>>                             diseases.
>>                             3)  It is always the right temperature.
>>                             4)  It is inexpensive.
>>                             5)  It bonds the child to mother and vice
>>                             versa.
>>                             6)  It is always available as needed
>>                             And then the student was stuck.  Finally,
>>                             in desperation, just before the bell rang
>>                             indicating the end of the test he wrote:
>>                             7)  It comes in two attractive containers
>>                             and it's high enough off the ground where
>>                             the cat can't get it.
>>                             He got an A+.
>>                             *
>>
>>
>>                             *A woman and her 12-year-old son were
>>                             riding in a taxi in Detroit.  It was
>>                             raining and all the prostitutes were
>>                             standing under awnings.
>>                             "Mom," said the boy, "what are all those
>>                             women doing?"
>>                             "They're waiting for their husbands to
>>                             get off work," she replied
>>                             The taxi driver turns around and says,
>>                             "Geez lady, why don't you tell him the
>>                             truth?  They're hookers, boy!  They have
>>                             sex with men for money."
>>                             The little boy's eyes get wide and he
>>                             says, "Is that true Mom?"
>>                             His mother, glaring hard at the driver,
>>                             answers "Yes."
>>                             After a few minutes the kid asks, "Mom,
>>                             if those women have babies, what happens
>>                             to them?"
>>                             She said, "Most of them become taxi drivers."
>>                             *
>>
>>
>>                             *An elderly, but hardy cattleman from
>>                             Texas once told a young female neighbor
>>                             that if she wanted to live a long life,
>>                             the secret was to sprinkle a pinch of
>>                             gunpowder on her oatmeal each morning.
>>                              She did this religiously and lived to
>>                             the ripe old age of 103.  She left behind
>>                             14 children, 30 grandchildren, 21
>>                             great-grandchildren, five
>>                             great-great-grandchildren and a 40 foot
>>                             HOLE where the crematorium used to be.
>>                             *
>>
>>
>>                             *IF YOU DON'T PASS THIS ON TO YOUR
>>                             FRIENDS BY 11:30 AM TOMORROW, YOU WILL
>>                             RECEIVE THREE ILLEGAL IMMIGRANTS
>>                             ABSOLUTELY FREE.
>>                             *
>>
>>
>>
>>
>>
>>
>>
>>
>>
>>
>>
>>
>>
>>
>>
>>
>>
>>
>>
>>
>>
>>
>>
>>
>>
>>
>>
>> ------ End of Forwarded Message


---
This email has been checked for viruses by AVG.
https://www.avg.com
-------------- next part --------------
An HTML attachment was scrubbed...
URL: <http://lists.bcn.mythic-beasts.com/pipermail/bitlist/attachments/20190204/9160d320/attachment-0001.html>