[BITList] Fwd: Laws

[michael J Feltham]

> 
>>>>> 1.Law of Mechanical Repair -
>>>>> After your hands become coated with grease, 
>>>>> your nose will begin to itch and you'll have to 
>>>>> pee.  
>>>>> 2.Law of Gravity - 
>>>>> Any tool, nut, bolt, screw, when dropped, 
>>>>> will roll to the least accessible place in the 
>>>>> universe.
>>>>> 3.Law of Probability - 
>>>>> The probability of being watched is directly 
>>>>> proportional to the stupidity of your act.
>>>>> 4.Law of Random Numbers - 
>>>>> If you dial a wrong number, you never get a 
>>>>> busy signal; someone always answers.
>>>>> 5.Variation Law - 
>>>>> If you change lines (or traffic lanes), the one 
>>>>> you were in will always move faster than the 
>>>>> one you are in now.
>>>>> 6.Law of the Bath - 
>>>>> When the body is fully immersed in water, 
>>>>> the telephone will ring.
>>>>> 7.Law of Close Encounters - 
>>>>> The probability of meeting someone you know 
>>>>> INCREASES dramatically when you are with 
>>>>> someone you don't want to be seen with.
>>>>> 8.Law of the Result - 
>>>>> When you try to prove to someone that 
>>>>> a machine won't work, IT WILL WORK!!!
>>>>> 9.Law of Biomechanics - 
>>>>> The severity of the itch is inversely 
>>>>> proportional to the reach.
>>>>> 10.Law of the Theatre & Football Stadium - 
>>>>> At any event, the people whose seats are 
>>>>> farthest from the aisle, always arrive last. 
>>>>> They are the ones who will leave their seats 
>>>>> several times to go for food, beer, or the toilet 
>>>>> and who leave early before the end of the 
>>>>> performance or the game is over. The folks 
>>>>> in the aisle seats come early, never move 
>>>>> once, have long gangly legs or big bellies 
>>>>> and stay to the bitter end of the performance. 
>>>>> The aisle people also are very surly folk.
>>>>> 11.The Coffee Law - 
>>>>> As soon as you sit down to a cup of hot coffee, 
>>>>> your boss will ask you to do something which 
>>>>> will last until the coffee is cold.
>>>>> 12.Murphy's Law of Lockers - 
>>>>> If there are only 2 people in a locker room, 
>>>>> they will have adjacent lockers.
>>>>> 13.Law of Physical Surfaces -
>>>>> The chances of an open-faced jam sandwich 
>>>>> landing face down on a floor are directly 
>>>>> correlated to the newness and cost of the 
>>>>> carpet or rug
>>>>> 14.Law of Logical Argument - 
>>>>> Anything is possible IF you don't know 
>>>>> what you are talking about.
>>>>> 15. Law of Physical Appearance - 
>>>>> If the clothes fit, they're ugly.
>>>>> 16.The 50-50-90 Law
>>>>> Whenever there's a 50-50 chance of getting something right, 
>>>>> there's a 90% probability that you'll get it wrong.
>>>>> 17.Law of Commercial Marketing Strategy - 
>>>>> As soon as you find a product that you really 
>>>>> like, they will stop making it OR the store will 
>>>>> stop selling it!
>>>>> 18.Doctors' Law - 
>>>>> If you don't feel well, make an appointment to go 
>>>>> to the doctor, by the time you get there, you'll feel 
>>>>> better. But don't make an appointment and you'll feel worse
>>>>> 
>>>> 
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