[BITList] LEX OPHILIA

[michael J Feltham]

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> LEX OPHILIA - WHO ON EARTH DREAMS THESE UP?
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> ·        How does Moses make tea?   Hebrews it. 
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> ·        Venison for dinner again?   Oh deer!
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> ·        A cartoonist was found dead in his home.  Details are sketchy.
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> ·        I used to be a banker, but then I lost interest.
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> ·        Haunted French pancakes give me the crêpes.
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> ·        England has no kidney bank, but it does have a Liverpool.
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> ·        I tried to catch some fog, but I mist.
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> ·        They told me I had type-A blood, but it was a Typo.
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> ·        I changed my iPod's name to Titanic. It's syncing now.
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> ·        Jokes about German sausage are the wurst.
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> ·        I know a guy who's addicted to brake fluid, but he says he can stop any time.
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> ·        I stayed up all night to see where the sun went, and then it dawned on me.
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> ·        This girl said she recognized me from the vegetarian club, but I'd never met herbivore.
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> ·        When chemists die, they barium.
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> ·        I'm reading a book about anti-gravity.  I just can't put it down.
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> ·        I did a theatrical performance about puns.  It was a play on words.
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> ·        Why were the Indians here first?  They had reservations.
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> ·        I didn't like my beard at first.  Then it grew on me.
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> ·        Did you hear about the cross-eyed teacher who lost her job because she couldn't control her pupils?
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> ·        When you get a bladder infection, urine trouble.
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> ·        Broken pencils are pointless.
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> ·        What do you call a dinosaur with an extensive vocabulary?  A thesaurus.
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> ·       I dropped out of communism class because of lousy Marx.
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> ·       All the toilets in New York's police stations have been stolen.  The police have nothing to go on.
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> ·       I got a job at a bakery because I kneaded dough.
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> ·        Velcro - what a rip off!
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> ·         Don’t worry about old age; it doesn’t last.
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