[BITList] The Jewish Elbow, The Italian Grandfather & The Irish Blonde

[FA]

>                     *1.******The Jewish ELBOW**
>
>                     *    A Jewish grandmother is giving directions to
>                     her grown grandson who is*
>                     *coming to visit with his wife.*
>
>                     *"You come to the front door of the apartment. I
>                     am in apartment 301 . There*
>                     *is a big panel at the front door. With your
>                     elbow, push button 301. I will*
>                     *buzz you in. Come inside, the elevator is on the
>                     right. Get in, and with*
>                     *your elbow, push 3. When you get out, I'm on the
>                     left.. With your elbow, hit*
>                     *my doorbell."*
>
>                     *"Grandma, that sounds easy, but, why am I hitting
>                     all these buttons with my*
>                     *elbow? .........*
>
>                     *"What . . . .. .. You're coming empty handed?"*
>
>                     *______________________________ _________________*
>
>                     **2.******Wise Italian Grandfather**
>
>                     *    Why Italian Fathers and Grandfathers pass
>                     their handguns down through the*
>                     *family.*
>
>                     *    An old Italian man is dying. He calls his
>                     grandson to his bedside, Guido, I*
>                     *wan' you lissina me. I wan' you to take-a my
>                     chrome plated ..38 revolver so*
>                     *you will always remember me."*
>
>                     *"But grandpa, I really don't like guns.. How
>                     about you leave me your Rolex*
>                     *watch instead?"*
>
>                     *"You lissina me, boy. Somma day you gonna be
>                     runna da business, you gonna*
>                     *have a beautiful wife, lotsa money, a big-a home
>                     and maybe a couple of*
>                     *bambinos. "*
>
>                     *"Somma day you gonna come-a home and maybe finda
>                     you wife inna bed with*
>                     *another man.*
>                     *"Whatta you gonna do then? Pointa to you watch
>                     and say, 'times up' "?*
>                     **
>                     **______________________________
>                     ______________________________****
>                     **
>                     **3.******Irish Blonde...**
>
>                     *    An attractive blonde from Cork , Ireland ,
>                     arrived*
>                     *    at the casino. She seemed a little
>                     intoxicated and bet twenty*
>                     *thousand dollars in a single roll of the dice.*
>
>                     *    She said, "I hope you don't mind, but I feel
>                     much*
>                     *luckier when I'm completely nude." with that, she
>                     stripped from the neck*
>                     *down, rolled the dice and with an Irish brogue
>                     yelled, "Come on, baby, Mama*
>                     *needs new clothes!"*
>
>                     *    As the dice came to a stop, she jumped up and
>                     down*
>                     *    and squealed. "Yes! Yes! I won, I won!" She
>                     hugged each of the dealers,*
>                     *picked up her winnings and her clothes and
>                     quickly departed.*
>
>                     *    The dealers stared at each other dumbfounded.*
>                     *Finally, one of them asked, "What did she roll?"
>                     The other answered, "I*
>                     *don't know - I thought you were watching."*
>
>                     *MORAL OF THE STORY*
>
>                     *    Not all Irish are drunks, not all blondes are
>                     dumb,*
>                     *..... but all men...are men!*
>                     *______________________________ **
>


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