[BITList] FW: LEXOPHILE

[michael J Feltham]

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> Lexophile describes those that have a love for words, such as "you can tune a piano, but you can't tuna fish," or "To write with a broken pencil is pointless" An annual competition is held by the New York Times to see who can create the best original lexophile.
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> This year's winning submission is posted at the very end.
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> No matter how much you push the envelope, it'll still be stationery.
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> If you don't pay your exorcist you can get repossessed.
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> I'm reading a book about anti-gravity. I just can't put it down.
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> I didn't like my beard at first. Then it grew on me.
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> Did you hear about the crossed-eyed teacher who lost her job because she couldn't control her pupils?
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> When you get a bladder infection, urine trouble.
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> When chemists die, they barium.
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> I stayed up all night to see where the sun went, and then it dawned on me.
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> I changed my iPod's name to Titanic. It's syncing now.
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> England has no kidney bank, but it does have a Liverpool. 
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> Haunted French pancakes give me the crepes.
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> This girl today said she recognized me from the Vegetarians Club, but I'd swear I've never met herbivore.
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> I know a guy who's addicted to drinking brake fluid, but he says he can stop any time.
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> A thief who stole a calendar got twelve months.
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> When the smog lifts in Los Angeles U.C.L.A.
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> I got some batteries that were given out free of charge.
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> A dentist and a manicurist married. They fought tooth and nail.
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> A will is a dead giveaway.
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> With her marriage, she got a new name and a dress.
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> Police were summoned to a daycare center where a three-year-old was resisting a rest.
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> Did you hear about the fellow whose entire left side was cut off? He's all right now.
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> A bicycle can't stand alone; it's just two tired.
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> The guy who fell onto an upholstery machine last week is now fully recovered.
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> He had a photographic memory but it was never fully developed.
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> When she saw her first strands of gray hair she thought she'd dye.
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> Acupuncture is a jab well done. That's the point of it.
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> Those who get too big for their pants will be totally exposed in the end.
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