[BITList] Adopt a terrorist - Absolutely brilliant!!!

[FA]

*The Canadians sure know how to handle complaints! *

*A Canadian female liberal wrote a lot of letters to the Canadian 
government, complaining about the treatment of captive insurgents 
(terrorists) being held in Afghanistan National Correctional System 
facilities.  She demanded a response to her letter. She received back 
the following reply:*

*National Defence Headquarters *
*M Gen George R. Pearkes Bldg., 15 NT *
*101 Colonel By Drive 
<https://maps.google.com/?q=101+Colonel+By+Drive%C2%A0+Ottawa,+ON+K1A+0K2+%C2%A0%C2%A0+Canada&entry=gmail&source=g> 
*
*Ottawa, ON K1A 0K2 
<https://maps.google.com/?q=101+Colonel+By+Drive%C2%A0+Ottawa,+ON+K1A+0K2+%C2%A0%C2%A0+Canada&entry=gmail&source=g> 
*
*Canada 
<https://maps.google.com/?q=101+Colonel+By+Drive%C2%A0+Ottawa,+ON+K1A+0K2+%C2%A0%C2%A0+Canada&entry=gmail&source=g>*

*Dear Concerned Citizen*

*Thank you for your recent letter expressing your profound concern of 
treatment of the Taliban and Al Qaeda terrorists captured by Canadian 
Forces, who were subsequently transferred to the Afghanistan Government 
and are currently being held by Afghan officials in Afghanistan National 
Correctional System facilities.*

*Our administration takes these matters seriously and your opinions were 
heard loud and clear here in Ottawa .  You will be pleased to learn, 
thanks to the concerns of citizens like yourself, we are creating a new 
department here at the Department of National Defence, to be called 
'Liberals Accept Responsibility for Killers' program, or L.A.R.K. for 
short.*

*In accordance with the guidelines of this new program, we have decided, 
on a trial basis, to divert several terrorists and place them in homes 
of concerned citizens such as yourself, around the country, under those 
citizens personal care. *

**

*Your personal detainee has been selected and is scheduled for 
transportation under heavily armed guard to your residence in Toronto 
next Monday.*
**article-0-1E5D274E00000578-970_634x821.jpg (634×821)
*Ali Mohammed Ahmed bin Mahmud is your detainee, and is to be cared for 
pursuant to the standards you personally demanded in your letter of 
complaint. You will be pleased to know that we will conduct weekly 
inspections to ensure that your standards of care for Ahmed are 
commensurate with your recommendations. *

*Although Ahmed is a sociopath and extremely violent, we hope that your 
sensitivity to what you described as his 'attitudinal problem' will help 
him overcome those character flaws.  Perhaps you are correct in 
describing these problems as mere cultural differences.  We understand 
that you plan to offer counselling and home schooling, however, we 
strongly recommend that you hire some assistant caretakers.*

*Please advise any Jewish friends, neighbours or relatives about your 
house guest, as he might get agitated or even violent, but we are sure 
you can reason with him.  He is also expert at making a wide variety of 
explosive devices from common household products, so you may wish to 
keep those items locked up, unless in your opinion, this might offend him. *

**

*Your adopted terrorist is extremely proficient in hand-to-hand combat 
and can extinguish human life with such simple items as a pencil or nail 
clippers.  We advise that you do not ask him to demonstrate these skills 
either in your home or wherever you choose to take him while helping him 
adjust to life in our country.*

*Ahmed will not wish to interact with you or your daughters except 
sexually, since he views females as a form of property, thereby having 
no rights, including refusal of his sexual demands.  This is a 
particularly sensitive subject for him. *

**

*You also should know that he has shown violent tendencies around women 
who fail to comply with the dress code that he will recommend as more 
appropriate attire. I'm sure you will come to enjoy the anonymity 
offered by the burka over time.  Just remember that it is all part of 
'respecting his culture and religious beliefs', as described in your 
letter.*

*You take good care of Ahmed and remember that we will try to have a 
counselor available to help you over any difficulties you encounter 
while Ahmed is adjusting to Canadian culture.*

*Thanks again for your concern.  We truly appreciate it when folks like 
you keep us informed of the proper way to do our job and care for our 
fellow man.  Good luck and God bless you. *

*Cordially*
*Gordon O'Connor *
*Minister of National DefenceDefense*





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