[BITList] Fwd: Aussie Politicians unreal
Michael Feltham
ismay at mjfeltham.plus.com
Fri Nov 3 10:50:40 GMT 2017
Begin forwarded message:
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> Trust the rest on the List can boast some of this ilk in High Places
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> (I believe that Mr. Trump is a given)
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> Wishes :o)
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> Subject: : Aussie Politicians unreal
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> Like manure, you just got to spread it around.
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> A Canberra airport ticket agent offers some examples of why our country is in trouble:
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> 1. I had a politician Julie Bishop ask for an aisle seat so that her hair wouldn't get messed up by being near the window. I ask you on an airplane.
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> 2. I got a call from a Queensland politician (Katter) staffer (Howard Bauleke), who wanted to go to Cape Town. I started to explain the length Of the flight and the passport information, and then he interrupted me with, ''I'm not trying to make you look stupid, but CapeTown is in Queensland''.
> Without trying to make him look stupid, I calmly explained, ''Cooktown is in Qld, Capetown is in Africa.'' His response, nothing.
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> 3. Former Prime Minister Kevin Rudd called, furious about a Florida package we did.
> I asked what was wrong with the vacation in Orlando.
> He said he was expecting an ocean-view room. I tried to explain that's not possible, since
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> Orlando is in the middle of the state.
> He replied, 'don't lie to me, I looked on the map and Florida is a very thin state''
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> 4. I got a call from a politician’s wife Landra Reid who asked, ''Is it possible to see England from Canada?''
> I said, ''No.''
> She said, ''But they look so close on the map”.
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> 5. Aide for a cabinet member Janet Napolitano once called and asked if she could rent a car in Sydney.
> I pulled up the reservation and noticed she had only a 1-hour layover in Sydney.
> When I asked her why she wanted to rent a car, she said,
> ''I heard Sydney was a big airport, and we will need a car to drive between gates to save time.''
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> 6. Independent (Wilkie) called last week. He needed to know how it was possible that his flight from Sydney left at 8:30 a.m., and got to Perth at 8:33 a.m.
> I explained that Sydney was three hours ahead of Perth, but he couldn't understand the concept of time zones.
> Finally, I told him the plane went really fast, and he bought that.
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> 7. Former Federal Treasurer Joe Hockey called and asked, ''Do airlines put your physical description on your bag
> So they know whose luggage belongs to whom?''
> I said, 'No, why do you ask?'
> He replied, ''Well, when I checked in with the airline, they put a tag on my luggage that said (FAT), and I think that's very rude''
> After putting him on hold for a minute, while I looked into it. I was dying laughing.
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> I came back and explained the city code for Fraser Island is (FAT - Fraser Air Terminal), and the airline was just putting a destination tag on his luggage.
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> 8. Senator Bronwyn Bishop a former Speaker of the House and a serial travel extravagant (at taxpayers’ expense) called to enquire about a trip package to Hawaii.
> After going over all the cost info, she asked, ''Would it be cheaper to fly to California and then take the train to Hawaii?''
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> 9.
> I just got off the phone with a Labour politician, Peter Garrett who asked,
> ''How do I know which plane to get on?''
> I asked him what exactly he meant, to which he replied,
> ''I was told my flight number is 823,
> But none of these planes have that number on them.''
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> 10. Peter Slipper, Queensland Snoozetician called and said, ''I need to fly to Pepsi-Cola, Florida.
> Do I have to get on one of those little computer planes?''
> I asked if he meant fly to Pensacola, Florida on a commuter plane.
> He said, ''Yeah, whatever, smarty''
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> 11. Mary Landrieu, Kevin Rudd's aide called and had a question about the documents she and her boss needed in order to fly to China.
> After a lengthy discussion about passports, I reminded her that she needed a visa.
> 'Oh, no I don't. I've been to China many times and never had to have one of those.''
> I double checked and sure enough, her stay required a visa. When I told her this she said,
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> ''Look, I've been to China four times and every time they have accepted my American Express''
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> 12. Former Prime Minister Julia Gillard called to make reservations, ''I want to go from Chicago to Rhino, New York ''
> I was at a loss for words. Finally, I said ''Are you sure that's the name of the town?''
> 'Yes, what flights do you have?'' replied Ms Gillard.
> After some searching, I came back with, ''I'm sorry, I've looked up every airport code in the country and can't find a rhino anywhere."
> Julia said, ''Oh, don't be silly! Everyone knows where it is. Check your map!''
> So I scoured a map of the state of New York and finally offered, ''You don't mean Buffalo, do you?''
> The reply?
> ''Whatever! I knew it was a big animal.''
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> Now you know why the Government is in the shape that it's in!
> Could anyone be this DUMB?
> I don't write it, I just offer it for your consideration.
> Like manure, you just got to spread it around.
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