[BITList] THIS COULD BE US SOMEDAY!

[FA]

    *THIS COULD BE US SOMEDAY!*

        *Couple in their nineties are both having problems remembering
        things. During a check-up, the doctor tells them that they're
        physically okay, but they might want to start writing things
        down to help them remember**..*
        *Later that night, while watching TV, the old man gets up from
        his chair. 'Want anything while I'm in the kitchen?' he asks.*
        *'Will you get me a bowl of ice cream?'*
        *'Sure.'*
        *'Don't you think you should write it down so you can remember
        it?' she asks.*
        *'No, I can remember it.'*
        *'Well, I'd like some strawberries on top, too. Maybe you should
        write it down, so as not to forget it?'*
        *He says, 'I can remember that. You want a bowl of ice cream
        with strawberries.'*
        *'I'd also like whipped cream. I'm certain you'll forget that,
        write it down?' she asks.*
        *Irritated, he says, 'I don't need to write it down, I can
        remember it! Ice cream with strawberries and whipped cream - I
        got it, for goodness sake!'*
        *Then he toddles into the kitchen. After about 20 minutes, the
        old man returns from the kitchen and hands his wife a plate of
        bacon and eggs. She stares at the plate for a moment.
        'Where's my toast?'
        *
        *
        **An elderly couple****had dinner at another couple's house, and
        after eating, the wives left the table and went into the kitchen.*
        *The two gentlemen were talking, and one said, 'Last night we
        went out to a new restaurant and it was really great. I would
        recommend it very highly.'*
        *The other man said, 'What is the name of the restaurant?'*
        *The first man thought and thought and finally said, 'What’s the
        name of that flower you give to someone you love? You know, the
        one that's red and has thorns.'*
        *'Do you mean a rose?'
        'Yes, that's the one,' replied the man. He then turned towards
        the kitchen and yelled, 'Rose, what's the name of that
        restaurant we went to last night?'*

        *
        **Hospital regulations****require a wheel chair for patients
        being discharged. However, while working as a student nurse, I
        found one elderly gentleman already dressed and sitting on the
        bed with a suitcase at his feet, who insisted he**d**idn't need
        my help to leave the hospital.*
        *After a chat about rules being rules, he reluctantly let me
        wheel him to the elevator.*
        *On the way down I asked him if his wife was meeting him.
        'I don't know,' he said. 'She's still upstairs in the bathroom
        changing out of her hospital gown.'*


        *A senior citizen said to his eighty-year old buddy:*
        *'So I hear you're getting married?'*
        *'Yep!'*
        *'Do I know her?'*
        *'Nope!'*
        *'This woman, is she good looking?'*
        *'Not really.'*
        *'Is she a good cook?'*
        *'Naw, she can't cook too well.'*
        *'Does she have lots of money?'*
        *'Nope! Poor as a church mouse.'*
        *'Well, then, is she good in bed?'*
        *'I don't know.'*
        *'Why in the world do you want to marry her then?'
        **'Because she can still drive!'*

        *
        **A man was telling his neighbour, 'I just bought a new hearing
        aid. It cost me four thousand dollars, but it's state of the
        art. It's perfect.'*
        *'Really,' answered the neighbour. 'What kind is it?'*
        *'Twelve thirty.'*

        *
        **Morris, an 82 year-old man, went to the doctor to get a physical.*
        *A few days later, the doctor saw Morris walking down the street
        with a gorgeous young woman on his arm.*
        *A couple of days later, the doctor spoke to Morris and said,
        'You're really doing great, aren't you?'*
        *Morris replied, 'Just doing what you said, Doc: 'Get a hot
        mamma and be cheerful.''
        The doctor said, 'I didn't say that.. I said, 'You've got a
        heart murmur; be careful.'*

        *
        **One more. . .!*
        *A little old man shuffled slowly into an ice cream parlour and
        pulled himself slowly, painfully, up onto a stool...*
        *After catching his breath, he ordered a banana split.*
        *The waitress asked kindly, 'Crushed nuts?'*
        *'No,' he replied, 'Arthritis.'*

        *Now**,**before you '**/forget/****', send them on to some other
        folks you know who could use a good laugh!!*


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