[BITList] Some funnies….

[John Feltham]

G'day Folks,


Some funnies….



THE IRISH ANGLER 

1.
 
The rain was pouring down. And there standing in front of a big puddle outside the pub was an old Irishman, drenched, holding a stick, with a piece of string dangling in the water.
 
A passer-by stopped and asked, "What are you doing?"
 
"Fishing" replied the old man.
 
Feeling sorry for the old man, the gent says, "Come in out of the rain and have a drink with me."
 
In the warmth of the pub, as they sip their whiskies, the gentleman cannot resist asking, "So how many have you caught today?"
 
"You're the eighth" says the old Irishman man.


2.

It was followed by this comment

According to the Office for National Statistics

190,374 People are having sex right now.

212,130 Are kissing right now.

And one poor ole fart Is reading emails right now. 


3.

Which in turn was followed by this one!


Text to the neighbour 

Hi Fred, this is Alan next door. I have a confession to make. I've been riddled with guilt these past few months and have been trying to get up the courage to tell you to your face, but I am at least now telling you in text as I cannot live with myself a moment longer without you knowing. 

The truth is I have been sharing your wife, day and night when you're not around. In fact, probably more than you. 

I haven't been getting it at home recently, but that's no excuse, I know. The temptation was just too much 

I can no longer live with the guilt and I hope you will accept my sincerest apologies and forgive me. It won't happen again. Please suggest a fee for usage, and I'll pay you. 

Regards, Alan.


THE RESPONSE 

Fred, feeling insulted and betrayed, grabbed his gun, and shot his neighbour dead. He returned home where he poured himself a stiff drink and sat down on the sofa. 

He took out his phone where he saw he had a second message from his neighbour:


THE SECOND MESSAGE 

Hi Fred, This is Alan next door again. Sorry about the typo on my last text. I expect you figured it out anyway, and that you noticed that darned Auto-Correct changed "wi-fi" to "wife" That's that modern technology for you, hey? 

Regards, Alan.




ooroo