[BITList] Three good 'uns.

[John Feltham]

The only problem with Reunions...

A group of chaps, all aged 40, discussed where they should meet for lunch. Finally it was agreed that they would meet at Wetherspoons in Uxbridge because the waitresses had stunning figures and wore mini-skirts.

Ten years later, at age 50, the friends once again discussed where they should meet for lunch. Finally it was agreed that they would meet at Wetherspoons in Uxbridge because the waitresses were attractive. The food and service was good and the beer selection was excellent

Ten years later, at age 60, the friends again discussed where they should meet for lunch. Finally it was agreed that they would meet at Wetherspoons in Uxbridge because there was plenty of parking, they could dine in peace and quiet with no loud music and it was good value for money.

Ten years later, at age 70, the friends discussed where they should meet for lunch. Finally it was agreed that they would meet at Wetherspoons in Uxbridge because the restaurant was wheelchair accessible and had a toilet for the disabled.

Ten years later, at age 80, the friends discussed where they should meet for lunch. Finally it was agreed that they would meet at Wetherspoons in Uxbridge because they had never been there before.




Someone changed the menu board for Rissoles to Pissoles. An apprentice asked for the Pissoles and the canteen lady said, "That should be an R." So he said, "OK, I'll have the Arseholes, then." 





Jeremy Corbyn in bank: "Good morning", says Jer, "could you please cash this cheque for me?"

Cashier: "It would be my pleasure Sir, but could you please show me some identification?"

Corbyn: "I did not bring my ID with me as I didn't think there was any need to. I'm Jeremy Corbyn, Leader of the Labour Party and the Opposition!!"

Cashier: "Yes, I know who you are Sir, but with all the bank regulations, monitoring, impostors and forgers etc., I must insist on seeing some identification".

Corbyn "Just ask any of the customers here at the bank who I am and they will tell you. Everybody knows who I am!"

Cashier: "I'm sorry Sir, but these are the bank rules and I must follow them".

Corbyn: "I'm urging you, please cash this cheque for me".

Cashier: "Look Sir, this is what we can do. One day Colin Montgomery came into the bank without any ID. To prove he was Colin Montgomery he pulled out his putter and putted a ball along the floor and into a small cup. With that sort of skill we knew it was Colin Montgomery and we cashed his cheque. On another occasion, Andy Murray came in without any ID. He pulled out his tennis racquet and lobbed a tennis ball straight into my teacup with such a spectacular shot that we all knew it was Andy Murray. 

Corbyn starts to think and think and finally says, "To be honest, there is nothing that comes into my mind.  In fact I can't think of a single thing that I'm any good at."

Cashier: "Will it be large or small notes you require Mr Corbyn.


ooroo