[BITList] Medical situations..

[FA]

>>>                             *Amusing Medical situations..*
>>>
>>>                             1. A man comes into the ER and yells. .
>>>                             .'My wife's going to have her baby in
>>>                             the cab.'
>>>                             I grabbed my stuff, rushed out to the
>>>                             cab, lifted the lady's dress and began
>>>                             to take off her underwear. Suddenly I
>>>                             noticed that there were several cabs . .
>>>                             . and I was in the wrong one.
>>>
>>>                             Submitted by Dr. Mark MacDonald,
>>>                             San Francisco
>>>
>>>
>>>                             2. At the beginning of my shift I placed
>>>                             a stethoscope on an elderly and
>>>                             slightly deaf female patient's anterior
>>>                             chest wall.  Big breaths,'. . . I
>>>                             instructed.
>>>                             'Yes, they used to be,'. . . replied the
>>>                             patient.
>>>
>>>                             Submitted by Dr. Richard Byrnes,
>>>                             Seattle, WASHINGTON
>>>
>>>                             3. One day I had to be the bearer of bad
>>>                             news when I told a wife that her husband
>>>                             had died of a massive myocardial infarct.
>>>                             Not more than five minutes later, I
>>>                             heard her reporting to the rest of the
>>>                             family that he had died of a 'massive
>>>                             internal fart.'
>>>
>>>                             Submitted by Dr. Susan Steinberg
>>>
>>>                             4. While acquainting myself with a new
>>>                             elderly patient, I asked, 'How long have
>>>                             you been bedridden?'
>>>                             After a look of complete confusion she
>>>                             answered . . . ' Why, not for about
>>>                             twenty years - when my husband was alive.'
>>>
>>>                             Submitted by Dr. Steven Swanson-
>>>                             Corvallis, OREGON
>>>
>>>                             5. A nurse was on duty in the Emergency
>>>                             Room when a young woman with purple hair
>>>                             styled into a punk rocker Mohawk,
>>>                             sporting a variety of tattoos, and
>>>                             wearing strange clothing, entered.....
>>>                             It was quickly determined that the
>>>                             patient had acute appendicitis, so she
>>>                             was scheduled for immediate surgery.
>>>                             When she was completely disrobed on the
>>>                             operating table, the staff noticed that
>>>                             her pubic hair had been dyed green and
>>>                             above it there was a tattoo that read
>>>                             'Keep off the grass.'
>>>
>>>                             Once the surgery was completed, the
>>>                             surgeon wrote a short note on the
>>>                             patient's dressing, which said 'Sorry .
>>>                             . . had to mow the lawn.'
>>>
>>>                             Submitted by RN, no name
>>>
>>>                             AND FINALLY . . . . THE FUNNIEST
>>>
>>>                             A woman and a baby were in the doctor's
>>>                             examining room, waiting for the doctor
>>>                             to come in for the baby's first exam.
>>>                             The doctor arrived, and examined the
>>>                             baby, checked his weight and, being a
>>>                             little concerned, asked if the baby was
>>>                             breast-fed or bottle-fed.
>>>
>>>                             'Breast-fed,' she replied...
>>>
>>>                             'Well, strip down to your waist,' the
>>>                             doctor ordered. She did. He pinched her
>>>                             nipples, pressed, kneaded, and rubbed
>>>                             both breasts for a while in a very
>>>                             professional and detailed examination.
>>>
>>>                             Motioning to her to get dressed, the
>>>                             doctor said, 'No wonder this baby is
>>>                             underweight. You don't have any milk.'
>>>
>>>                             'I know,' she said, 'I'm his grandma,
>>>                             but I'm glad I came.'
>>>
>>>                             	
>>>
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>>>
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