[BITList] Letter to the UK PM

[John Feltham]

From a correspondent…



Good ones keep on coming around…just the countries and PMs get changed

It should work in Australia too.

ooroo





Dear Mrs May, 
 
Please find below my suggestions for fixing the UK 's economy.  

Instead of giving billions of pounds to banks that will squander the money on lavish parties and unearned bonuses, use the following plan. 

You can call it the Patriotic Retirement Plan. 

There are about 10 million people over 50 in the work force. Pay them £1 million each severance for early retirement with the following stipulations: 

1) They MUST retire. Ten million job openings - unemployment fixed  

2) They MUST buy a new British car. Ten million cars ordered - Car Industry fixed  

3) They MUST either buy a house or pay off their mortgage - Housing crisis fixed  

4) They MUST send their children to school/college/university - Crime rate fixed  

5) They MUST buy £100 worth of alcohol/tobacco a week - And there's your money back in duty/tax etc.  It can’t get any easier than that! If more money is needed, have all MPs pay back their falsely claimed expenses and second home allowances.  

Let's put the pensioners in jail and the criminals in a nursing home. 

This way the pensioners would have access to showers, hobbies and walks.  

They'd receive unlimited free prescriptions, dental and medical treatment, wheel chairs, etc. and they'd receive money instead of paying it out.  

They would have constant video monitoring, so they could be helped instantly, if they fell or needed assistance. 

Bedding would be washed twice a week, and all clothing would be ironed and returned to them. A guard would check on them every 20 minutes and bring their meals and snacks to their cell. 

They would have family visits in a suite built for that purpose. They would have access to a library, weight room, spiritual counselling, pool and education. Simple clothing, shoes, slippers, pyjamas and legal aid would be free, on request.  

Private, secure rooms for all, with an exercise outdoor yard, with gardens. 

Each senior could have a PC, a TV, radio and daily phone calls. 

There would be a board of directors to hear complaints, and the guards would have a code of conduct that would be strictly adhered to.  The criminals would get small portions of cold food, be left all alone and unsupervised. Lights out at 8pm, and showers once a week.  Live in a tiny room and pay £600 per week and have no hope of ever getting out. 

Is it just me, or does anyone else find it amazing that during the BSE crisis our Government could track a single cow, born in Appleby almost three years ago, right to the stall where she slept in the county of Cumbria? Also, it even tracked her calves to their stalls. But it is unable to locate 250,000 illegal immigrants wandering around our country. Maybe we should give each of them a cow. 


ooroo



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