[BITList] Obituary in Yorkshire Post

[FA]

Obituary in 'Yorkshire Post' Newspaper

  The couple had been happily married for just over 50 years when the wife
died.  They had spent their entire married life in the Yorkshire Dales.

The husband contacted the local newspaper to enquire about having an
obituary published. But when informed of the cost by the lady in the 
newspaper office, the man uttered, in true Yorkshire fashion,           
            “How Much?! You've got to be joking!!”   He finally agreed 
he would have to pay something but wanted to spend as
  little as possible.

  “I want summat simple,” he explained. “My Gladys was a good-hearted and
  hard-working Yorkshire lass but she wouldn't have wanted owt swanky.”

“Perhaps a small poem?" suggested the woman at the newspaper obituary desk.

  “Nay, lass,” he said, “she wouldn't have wanted anything la-di-da like 
that.  And she wouldn't have wanted me to spend too much brass.  How's 
about we just say:

  "Gladys Braithwaite died."

  “You must say when she died,” insisted the lady in the office.

  “Do I?  OK, well, let's just put Died 17th Jan 2016. That'll do.”

  “OK," said the newspaper lady, "but it's also usual for the bereaved 
to add
  some meaningful phrase about the dearly departed.”

The husband considered for a moment. “Well," he said, "just include Sadly
missed. That'll do.”

  “For the minimum price, you can have another four words included,” the
  woman explained.

  “No, no,” the husband said. "Gladys wouldn't 'ave wanted me to splash out
  like that."

  “You wouldn't have to. As I've just explained, the extra four words are
  included in the basic price.”

  “Are they? You mean ... I will 'ave paid for 'em anyway?”

  “Yes, indeed, Mr Ramsbottom.”

  “Well, if I'm paying for 'em, I'm damn well 'avin 'em.”

  The final wording was agreed and the following  obituary was duly printed
  in the next day's edition of the Yorkshire Post.

  Gladys Ramsbottom died 17th January 2016. Sadly missed.
  Also tractor for sale.


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