[BITList] I'm the last one left in the Air Force

[John Feltham]

From another Forum…


I'm the last one left in the Air Force;
I've an office in MOD
And a copy of Queens Regulations
Which apply only to me
I can post myself to Leuchars
And detach me from there to Kinloss
Or send me on courses to Cranwell
Then cancel the lot - I'm the boss
 
I'm the last one left in the Air Force
But the great Parliamentary brains
Omitted, when cancelling people
To sell off the Station and Planes
The result is my inventory bulges
With KD and camp-stools and Quarters
Plus a signed book of verses by Trenchard
Which I keep for impressing reporters
 
I'm the last one left in the Air Force
I suppose you I'magine its great
To be master of all you survey
But I tell you - its difficult mate
I inspected three Units last Thursday
As C-in-C (Acting) Strike Command
Then I swept the runway at Leeming
And repaired Boulmers best station bike
 
I'm the last one left in the Air Force
And its not doing a lot for my health
Station Sports Days are frankly exhausting
Where the Victor Ludorums myself
On Guest Nights the Mess is so lonely
There are times that I wish I were able
To pass the Port to the one on my left
Without watching it fall off the table
 
I'm the last one left in the Air Force
And its quiet-but all that apart
There are plenty worse off, for example
The only Sea Lord for a start
She was called out last Wednesday evening
(Joint ops with the Army, my oath)
But their rowing boat sunk in the Channel
Which obliged me to rescue them both
  
I'm the last one left in the Air Force
And my kids say I'm never around
When I'm not flying Hercs or a Typhoon
I'm the lone QRA on the ground
Or I'm doing sea-survival at Plymouth
Shooting flares at the crowds on the Hoe
Or I'm Orderly Corporal at Linton
Its an interesting life-but all go
 
I'm the last one left in the Air Force
I'm ADC to the Queen
I'm Duty Clerk at Brize Norton
I'm the RAF Rugby team
Tomorrow I'm the Queens Colour Squadron
Then air-testing several planes
And the day after that I'm in London
Preaching at St Clement Danes

I'm the last one left in the Air Force
And I'm due to go before long
But theres been no hint of replacement
And I wont even let me sign on
I hope to enjoy my retirement
As I've put up a fairly good show
And I wont cut myself off entirely
THERES ALWAYS REUNIONS-YOU KNOW. 



ooroo