[BITList] AS WE AGE ......
FA
franka at iinet.net.au
Mon Nov 30 11:19:07 GMT 2015
That will never happen to us will it??????
ROMANCE
Barb was lying in bed one night. Al was falling asleep but Barb was in a
romantic mood and wanted to talk. She said: "You used to hold my hand
when we were courting." Wearily he reached across, held her hand for a
second and tried to get back to sleep. A few moments later she said:
"Then you used to kiss me...” Mildly irritated, he reached across, gave
her a peck on the cheek and settled down to sleep.Thirty seconds later
she said: "Then you used to bite my Neck..." Angrily, Al threw back the
bed clothes and got out of bed. "Where are you going?" Barb asked.. "To
get my teeth!"
>
>
>
> DOWN AT THE RETIREMENT CENTER
> 80-year old Bessie bursts into the rec room at the retirement
> home. She holds her clenched fist in the air and announces,
> "Anyone who can guess what's in my hand can have sex with me
> tonight!!" An elderly gentleman in the rear shouts out, "An
> elephant? Bessie thinks a minute and says, "Close enough."
>
>
>
> OLD FRIENDS
> Two elderly ladies had been friends for many decades. Over the
> years, they had shared all kinds of activities and adventures.
> Lately, their activities had been limited to meeting a few
> times a week to play cards. One day, they were playing cards
> when one looked at the other and said, "Now don't get mad at
> me... I know we've been friends for a long time but I just
> can't think of your name. I've thought and thought, but I
> can't remember it. Please tell me what your name is." Her
> friend glared at her. For at least three minutes she just
> stared and glared at her. Finally she said, "How soon do you
> need to Know?"
>
>
>
> SENIOR DRIVING
> As a senior citizen was driving down the freeway, his car
> phone rang. Answering, he heard his wife's voice urgently
> warning him, " Vernon , I just heard on the news that there's
> a car going the wrong way on I-25. Please be careful!" "Hell,"
> said Vernon,"It's not just one car. It's hundreds of them!"
>
>
>
> SUPERSEX
> A little old lady who had lost her marbles was running up and
> down the halls in a nursing home.As she ran, she would flip up
> the hem of her nightgown and say "Supersex." She ran up to
> an elderly man in a wheelchair, flipping her gown at him, she
> said, "Supersex." He sat silently for a moment or two and
> finally answered, "I'll take the soup."
>
>
>
> DRIVING
> Two elderly women were out driving in a large car - both could
> barely see over the dashboard. As they were cruising along,
> they came to major crossroad. The stop light was red, but they
> just went on through. The woman in the passenger seat thought
> to herself "I must be losing it. I could have sworn we just
> went through a red light." After a few more minutes, they came
> to another major junction and the light was red again. Again,
> they went right through. The woman in the passenger seat was
> almost sure that the light had been red but was really
> concerned that she was losing it. She was getting nervous. At
> the next junction, sure enough, the light was red and they
> went on through. So, she turned to the other woman and said,
> "Mildred, did you know that we just ran through three red
> lights in a row? You could have killed us both!" Mildred
> turned to her and said, "Oh! Am I driving?"
>
>
>
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