[BITList] AS WE AGE ......

FA franka at iinet.net.au
Mon Nov 30 11:19:07 GMT 2015




That will never happen to us will it??????

ROMANCE
Barb was lying in bed one night. Al was falling asleep but Barb was in a 
romantic mood and wanted to talk.  She said: "You used to hold my hand 
when we were courting." Wearily he reached across, held her hand for a 
second and tried to get back to sleep. A few moments later  she said: 
"Then you used to kiss me...” Mildly irritated, he reached across,  gave 
her a peck on the cheek and settled down to sleep.Thirty seconds later 
she said: "Then you used to bite my Neck..."  Angrily, Al threw back the 
bed clothes and got out of bed. "Where are you going?" Barb asked.. "To 
get my teeth!"
>
>
>
>         DOWN AT THE RETIREMENT CENTER
>         80-year old Bessie bursts into the rec room at the retirement
>         home. She holds her clenched fist in the air and announces,
>         "Anyone who can guess what's in my hand can have sex with me
>         tonight!!"   An elderly gentleman in the rear shouts out, "An
>         elephant? Bessie thinks a minute and says, "Close enough."
>
>
>
>         OLD FRIENDS
>         Two elderly ladies had been friends for many decades. Over the
>         years, they had shared all kinds of activities and adventures.
>         Lately, their activities had been limited to meeting a few
>         times a week to play cards.  One day, they were playing cards
>         when one looked at the other and said, "Now don't get mad at
>         me... I know we've been friends for a long time but I just
>         can't think of your name. I've thought and thought, but I
>         can't remember it. Please tell me what your name is." Her
>         friend glared at her. For at least three minutes she just
>         stared and glared at her. Finally she said, "How soon do you
>         need to Know?"
>
>
>
>         SENIOR DRIVING
>         As a senior citizen was driving down the freeway, his car
>         phone rang. Answering, he heard his wife's voice urgently
>         warning him, " Vernon , I just heard on the news that there's
>         a car going the wrong way on I-25. Please be careful!" "Hell,"
>         said Vernon,"It's not just one car. It's hundreds of them!"
>
>
>
>         SUPERSEX
>         A little old lady who had lost her marbles was running up and
>         down the halls in a nursing home.As she ran, she would flip up
>         the hem  of her nightgown and say "Supersex."  She ran up to
>         an elderly man in a wheelchair, flipping her gown at him, she
>         said, "Supersex." He sat silently for a moment or two and
>         finally answered, "I'll take the soup."
>
>
>
>         DRIVING
>         Two elderly women were out driving in a large car - both could
>         barely see over the dashboard. As they were cruising along,
>         they came to major crossroad. The stop light was red, but they
>         just went on through. The woman in the passenger seat thought
>         to herself "I must be losing it. I could have sworn we just
>         went through a red light." After a few more minutes, they came
>         to another major junction and the light was red again. Again,
>         they went right through. The woman in the passenger seat was
>         almost sure that the light had been red but was really
>         concerned that she was losing it.  She was getting nervous. At
>         the next junction, sure enough, the light was  red and they
>         went on through. So, she turned to the other woman and said,
>         "Mildred, did you know that we just ran through three red
>         lights in  a row? You could have killed us both!" Mildred
>         turned to her and said, "Oh! Am I driving?"
>
>
>

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