[BITList] Phyllis Diller sayings

[FA]

*/Whatever you may look like,/**//**/marry a man your own age./**//**/As 
your beauty fades,/**//**/so will his eyesight. /*
*/-Phyllis Diller

Housework can't kill you,/**//**/but why take a chance?
-Phyllis Diller

Cleaning your house while your kids are still growing up is like 
shoveling the sidewalk before it stops snowing.
-Phyllis Diller

The reason women don't play football is because 11 of them would never 
wear/**//**/the same outfit in public.
-Phyllis Diller

Best way to get rid of kitchen odours:/**//**/Eat out.
-Phyllis Diller

A bachelor is a guy who never made the same mistake once.
-Phyllis Diller

I want my children to have all the things/**//**/I couldn't 
afford./**//**/Then I want to move in with them.
-Phyllis Diller

Most children threaten at times to run away from home. This is the only 
thing that keeps some parents going.
-Phyllis Diller

Any time three New Yorkers get into a cab without an argument,/**//**/a 
bank has just been robbed.
-Phyllis Diller

We spend the first twelve months of our children's lives teaching them 
to walk and talk and the next twelve years/**//**/telling them to sit 
down and shut up.
-Phyllis Diller

Burt Reynolds once asked me out./**//**/I was in his room.
-Phyllis Diller

What I don't like about office Christmas parties is looking for a job 
the next day.
-Phyllis Diller

The only time I ever enjoyed ironing was the day I accidentally got gin 
in the steam iron.
-Phyllis Diller /*
*/
His finest hour lasted a minute and a half.
-Phyllis Diller

Old age is when the liver spots/**//**/show through your gloves.
-Phyllis Diller

My photographs don't do me justice -they just look like me.
-Phyllis Diller

I admit, I have a tremendous sex drive./**//**/My boyfriend lives forty 
miles away.
-Phyllis Diller

Tranquillizers work only if you follow the advice on the bottle - keep 
away from children.
-Phyllis Diller

I asked the waiter, 'Is this milk fresh?' He said, 'Lady, three hours 
ago it was grass.'
-Phyllis Diller

The reason the golf pro tells you to keep your head down is so you can't 
see him laughing.
-Phyllis Diller

You know you're old/**//**/if they have discontinued your blood type.
-Phyllis Diller/*
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