[BITList] Jokes

[FA]

 > I got invited to a party and was told to dress to kill. Apparently a
 > turban, beard and a backpack wasn't what they had in mind.
 >
 > After a night of drink, drugs and wild sex, Jim woke up to find himself
 > next to a really ugly woman. That's when he realized he had made it home
 > safely.
 >
 > Seven wheelchair athletes have been banned from the Paralympics after 
they
 > tested positive for WD40.
 >
 > ITS A BOY" I shouted "A BOY, I DON'T BELIEVE IT, IT ’ S A BOY". and with
 > tears streaming down my face I swore I'd never visit another Thai 
Brothel!
 >
 > In the first few days of the Olympics the Romanians took gold, silver,
 > bronze, copper & lead .
 >
 > Sailing results are in, GB took gold, USA took silver and Somalia took a
 > Middle aged couple from Weymouth .
 >
 > A boy asks his granny, 'Have you seen my pills, they were labeled LSD?'
 > Granny replies, “Bugger the pills, have you seen the dragons in the 
kitchen?
 > “
 >
 > The wife's back on the warpath again. She was up for making a sex movie
 > last night, and all I did was suggest we should hold auditions for 
her part.
 >
 > I've accidentally swallowed some Scrabble tiles. My next crap could 
spell
 > disaster.
 >
 > After both suffering from depression for a while, me and the wife were
 > going to commit suicide yesterday. But strangely enough, once she killed
 > herself, I started to feel a lot better. So I thought, "Screw it, 
soldier
 > on!"
 >
 > I woke up this morning at 8, and could sense something was wrong. I got
 > downstairs and found the wife face down on the kitchen floor, not 
breathing!
 > I panicked. I didn't know what to do. Then I remembered McDonald's
 > servesbreakfast until 11:30.
 >
 > Bought the missus a hamster skin coat last week. Took her to the fair 
last
 > night, and it took me 3 hours to get her off the Ferris wheel.
 >
 > My missus packed my bags, and as I walked out the front door, she
 > screamed, "I wish you a slow and painful death, you bastard!" "Oh," I
 > replied, "so now you want me to stay!"
 >
 > A government survey has shown that 91% of illegal immigrants come to 
this
 > country so that they can see their own doctor.