[BITList] Noel Whittaker explains the Middle East Problem

[FA]

> AND FINALLY
>
>
> I’ve been fascinated by what’s happening in Syria, but have to admit 
> it’s extremely complex and hard to understand. However, I thought the 
> sentiments below, albeit tongue in cheek, might help.  They were sent 
> to me by a reader.
> President Assad (who is bad) is a nasty guy who got so nasty his 
> people rebelled and the rebels (who are good) started winning (Hurrah!).
>
> But then some of the rebels turned a bit nasty and are now called 
> Islamic State (who are definitely bad!) and some continued to support 
> democracy (who are still good).
>
> So the Americans (who are good) started bombing Islamic State (who are 
> bad) and giving arms to the Syrian rebels (who are good) so they could 
> fight Assad (who is still bad), which was good.
>
> There is a breakaway state in the north run by the Kurds who want to 
> fight IS (which is a good thing) but the Turkish authorities think 
> they are bad, so we have to say they are bad whilst secretly thinking 
> they're good and giving them guns to fight IS (which is good), but 
> that is another matter.
>
> Getting back to Syria.
>
> So President Putin (who is bad, because he invaded Crimea and the 
> Ukraine and killed lots of folks including that nice Russian man in 
> London with polonium poisoned sushi) has decided to back Assad (who is 
> still bad) by attacking IS (who are also bad), which is sort of a good 
> thing.
>
> But Putin (still bad) thinks the Syrian rebels (who are good) are also 
> bad, and so he bombs them too, much to the annoyance of the Americans 
> (who are good) who are busy backing and arming the rebels (who are 
> also good).
>
> Iran (who used to be bad, but since they have agreed not to build any 
> nuclear weapons and bomb Israel are now good) are going to provide 
> ground troops to support Assad (still bad), as are the Russians (bad) 
> who now have ground troops and aircraft in Syria.
>
> So a Coalition of Assad (still bad), Putin (extra bad), and the 
> Iranians (good, but in a bad sort of way) are going to attack IS (who 
> are bad) which is a good thing, but also the Syrian rebels (who are 
> good), which is bad.
>
> Now the British (obviously good, except for that nice Mr Corbyn in the 
> corduroy jacket, who is probably bad) and the Americans (also good) 
> cannot attack Assad (still bad) for fear of upsetting Putin (bad) and 
> Iran (good/bad), and now they have to accept that Assad might not be 
> that bad after all compared to IS (who are super bad).
>
> So Assad (bad) is now probably good, being better than IS (but let’s 
> face it, drinking your own wee is better than IS so no real choice 
> there), and since Putin and Iran are also fighting IS that may now 
> make them good.  America (still good) will find it hard to arm a group 
> of rebels being attacked by the Russians for fear of upsetting Mr 
> Putin (now good) and that nice Ayatollah in Iran (also good), so they 
> may be forced to say that the rebels are now bad, or at the very least 
> abandon them to their fate.  This will lead most of them to flee to 
> Turkey and on to Europe or join IS (still the only constantly bad group).
>
> To Sunni Muslims, an attack by Shia Muslims (Assad and Iran), backed 
> by Russians, will be seen as something of a Holy War, and the ranks of 
> IS will now be seen by the Sunnis as the only Jihadis fighting in the 
> Holy War, and hence many Muslims will now see IS as good (Doh!.)
>
> Sunni Muslims will also see the lack of action by Britain and America 
> in support of their Sunni rebel brothers as something of a betrayal 
> (mmm….might have a point) and hence we will be seen as bad.
>
> So now we have America (now bad) and Britain (also bad) providing 
> limited support to Sunni rebels (bad), many of whom are looking to IS 
> (good/bad) for support against Assad (now good) who, along with Iran 
> (also good) and Putin (also now, unbelievably, good) are attempting to 
> retake the country Assad used to run before all this started.
>
> So, now you fully understand everything, all your questions are 
> answered!!!
>
> I hope you have enjoyed the latest edition of Noel News.
>
>
> 	
> 	
>
> 		
>
> .
>
>
> 	
> 	
>
>
> 	
>


-------------- next part --------------
An HTML attachment was scrubbed...
URL: <http://lists.bcn.mythic-beasts.com/pipermail/bitlist/attachments/20151205/037e430d/attachment-0001.html>