[BITList] Yellow 24!

[John Feltham]

From a correspondent…
 



A man goes into a doctor's office feeling a little ill.

The doctor checks him over and says, We'll have to do some blood tests.

A day later the doctor rings him with the results.
 
'Sorry, I have some bad news, you have Yellow 24, a really nasty virus.

 It's called Yellow 24 because it turns your blood yellow and you usually only have 24 hours to live.
 
There's no known cure so just go home and enjoy your final precious moments on earth..'

So he trudges home to his wife and breaks the news.
 
Distraught, she asks him to go to the bingo with her that evening as he's never been there with her before.

They arrive at the bingo and with his first card he gets four corners and wins £35.

Then, with the same card, he gets a line and wins £320

Then he gets the full house and wins £5000.

Then the National Game comes up and he wins that too getting £780,000.
 
The bingo caller gets him up on stage and says,

'Son, I've been here 20 years and I've never seen anyone win four corners, a line, the full-house and the national game on the same card.

You must be the luckiest bastard on Earth!'
 
'Lucky?' he screamed. 'Lucky? Do you know I've got Yellow 24'.
 
'F##k me,' says the bingo caller. 'You've won the meat raffle as well !!!

 
 

Little Johnny 


Do cats stutter ???

A teacher's story about Stuttering.

A teacher is explaining biology to her 4th grade students.

"Human beings are the only animals that stutter,' she says.
 
Little Johnny raises his hand. 'I had a kitty-cat who stuttered.'

The teacher, knowing how precious some of these stories could become, asked little Johnny to describe the incident.

"Well," he began, 'I was in the back yard with my kitty and the Rottweiler that lives next door got a running start and before we knew it, he jumped over the fence into our yard!'

'That must've been scary,' said the teacher.

'It sure was,' said little Johnny.

'My kitty raised her back, went "Ffffff!, Ffffff!, FfffffF,"

But before she could say 'F**k-off !,' the Rottweiler ate her!

The teacher had to leave the room.



ooroo

"Blessed are the cracked, for they let in the light."

Spike Milligan