[BITList] Here's a good one for you at your breakfast table !

[John Feltham]

Don’t choke on your wheaties!




From another forum….



OK have a laugh at this!-------------today I went for a checkup re my Glaucoma. I'm discussing with the consultant changing eye drops and other assorted problems and I've taken my hearing wife into the consulting room with me so that she can explain anything I haven't heard! Anyway partway through the discussion the consultant gives me a leaflet explaining about lazer treatment which I look at briefly and put in my pocket. We continue discussing treatments including the lazer and I am apparently nodding in agreement thinking that I'm to keep on using eye drops but maybe in the distant future it will come to the Lazer. He gives me new eye drops and asks to see me in a months time to see how I'm getting on (or so I think)!

About an hour later we are having a coffee in a cafe and discussing my eyes and the appointment I've just had. I said to my hearing wife I'll look at the Lazer treatment leaflet sometime in case I ever have to have it.

There is a stunned silence and the missus says but you are having it in a months time? So I said I'm not he's only given me a leaflet to read!  No say's the missus he gave you that when he told you he was going to do the treatment! I said that he never mentioned actually doing the treatment?  

You silly old fool says Mrs P he did, and you nodded in agreement as if you understood what he was saying!  I was gobsmacked!  I said look the only reason I took you was because you are my hearing person. You heard what he said and didn't tell me! But I thought you knew she said!---------- Aaaaaaaaargh!  the conversation was going nowhere!  I couldn't win so I said right then maybe it's time for a new hearing wife!  

OK she say's so when I can I leave!

We tend to have these little contretemps now and again!  She's gone out this evening but she said we are still friends!  No doubt we will be!

So it's Lazer treatment in a few weeks time, the outlook for retaining some sight in that eye isn't good, but hopefully it can be prolonged for a few years yet!


Followed by…


I thought I had problems but you are ahead of me in some respects. It's probably an age thing. I liked your reference to a 'hearing wife'. Isn't it remarkable how female lugs seem to have eternal youth. My wife can detect the rustle of a £5 note from a distance of 100m. Maybe it has something to do with the fact that most of our wives haven't wasted their time blasting away with Lee-Enfield .303's and Brens and Stens or stood in front of screaming aero-engines on countless start-ups. In my case I was intimately involved with steam turbines and boiler tube leaks which make aircraft sound life puffs while my dearly beloved peeled a few spuds for dinner. The years roll on and it wouldn't be the first time that the term 'cloth-ears' was used to describe my loss of hearing. When I have been foolish enough to point out that those years of punishment of my hearing have provided her with a very nice lifestyle, I am just able to hear the unmistakably dismissive sniff. 





ooroo

Whatever you do will be insignificant,
but it is very important that you do it.

Mahatma Gandhi.