[BITList] Grading papers--this is priceless !

[FA]

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    *It doesn't matter of what faith you are, these are still pretty
    funny...*


      A Nun Grading Papers


      CAN YOU IMAGINE THE NUN SITTING AT HER DESK GRADING THESE PAPERS,
      ALL THE WHILE TRYING TO KEEP A STRAIGHT FACE AND MAINTAIN HER
      COMPOSURE!


      PAY SPECIAL ATTENTION TO THE WORDS AND SPELLING. IF YOU KNOW THE
      BIBLE EVEN A LITTLE, YOU'LL FIND THIS HILARIOUS! IT COMES FROM A
      CATHOLIC ELEMENTARY SCHOOL TEST.

      KIDS WERE ASKED QUESTIONS ABOUT THE OLD AND NEW TESTAMENTS. THE
      FOLLOWING 25 STATEMENTS ABOUT THE BIBLE WERE WRITTEN BY CHILDREN.
      _THEY HAVE NOT BEEN RETOUCHED OR CORRECTED_._INCORRECT SPELLING
      HAS BEEN LEFT IN.PAY SPECIAL ATTENTION TO No. 9 ._


      1. IN THE FIRST BOOK OF THE BIBLE, GUINESSIS. GOD GOT TIRED OF
      CREATING THE WORLD SO HE TOOK THE SABBATH OFF.

      2. ADAM AND EVE WERE CREATED FROM AN APPLE TREE. NOAH'S WIFE WAS
      JOAN OF ARK. NOAH BUILT AND ARK AND THE ANIMALS CAME ON IN PEARS.



      3. LOTS WIFE WAS A PILLAR OF SALT DURING THE DAY, BUT A BALL OF
      FIRE DURING THE NIGHT.

      4. THE JEWS WERE A PROUD PEOPLE AND THROUGHOUT HISTORY THEY HAD
      TROUBLE WITH UNSYMPATHETIC GENITALS.

      5. SAMPSON WAS A STRONGMAN WHO LET HIMSELF BE LED ASTRAY BY A
      JEZEBEL LIKE DELILAH.


      6. SAMSON SLAYED THE PHILISTINES WITH THE AXE OF THE APOSTLES.

      7. MOSES LED THE JEWS TO THE REDSEA WHERE THEY MADE UNLEAVENED
      BREAD,WHICH IS BREAD WITHOUT ANY INGREDIENTS.

      8. THE EGYPTIANS WERE ALL DROWNED IN THE DESSERT. AFTERWARDS,
      MOSES WENT UP TO MOUNTCYANIDE TO GET THE TEN COMMANDMENTS.


      9. THE FIRST COMMANDMENT WAS WHEN EVE TOLD ADAM TO EAT THE APPLE.

      10. THE SEVENTH COMMANDMENT IS THOU SHALT NOT ADMIT ADULTERY.



      11. MOSES DIED BEFORE HE EVER REACHED CANADA THEN JOSHUA LED THE
      HEBREWS IN THE BATTLEOF GERITOL.



      12. THE GREATEST MIRICLE IN THE BIBLE IS WHEN JOSHUA TOLD HIS SON
      TO STAND STILL AND HE OBEYED HIM.

      13. DAVID WAS A HEBREW KING WHO WAS SKILLED AT PLAYING THE LIAR.
      HE FOUGHT THE FINKELSTEINS, A RACE OF PEOPLE WHO LIVED IN BIBLICAL
      TIMES.

      14. SOLOMON, ONE OF DAVIDS SONS, HAD 300 WIVES AND 700 PORCUPINES.



      15. WHEN MARY HEARD SHE WAS THE MOTHER OF JESUS, SHE SANG THE
      MAGNA CARTA.



      16. WHEN THE THREE WISE GUYS FROM THE EAST SIDE ARRIVED THEY FOUND
      JESUS IN THE MANAGER.



      17.. JESUS WAS BORN BECAUSE MARY HAD AN IMMACULATE CONTRAPTION.

      18. ST. JOHN THE BLACKSMITH DUMPED WATER ON HIS HEAD.



      19. JESUS ENUNCIATED THE GOLDEN RULE, WHICH SAYS TO DO UNTO OTHERS
      BEFORE THEY DO ONE TO YOU. HE ALSO EXPLAINED A MAN DOTH NOT LIVE
      BY SWEAT ALONE.

      20. IT WAS A MIRICLE WHEN JESUS ROSE FROM THE DEAD AND MANAGED TO
      GET THE TOMBSTONE OFF THE ENTRANCE.



      21. THE PEOPLE WHO FOLLOWED THE LORD WERE CALLED THE 12 DECIBELS.

      22. THE EPISTELS WERE THE WIVES OF THE APOSTLES.

      23. ONE OF THE OPPOSSUMS WAS ST. MATTHEW WHO WAS ALSO A TAXIMAN.

      24. ST. PAUL CAVORTED TO CHRISTIANITY, HE PREACHED HOLY ACRIMONY,
      WHICH IS ANOTHER NAME FOR MARRAIGE.

      25. CHRISTIANS HAVE ONLY ONE SPOUSE. THIS IS CALLED MONOTONY









    	



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