[BITList] 5 minute management course.

[FA]

*_Lesson 1:_*
*A man is getting into the shower just as his wife is finishing up her 
shower, when the doorbell rings.*
*The wife quickly wraps herself in a towel and runs downstairs.*
*When she opens the door, there stands Bob, the next-door neighbor*
*Before she says a word, Bob says, 'I'll give you $800 to drop that towel.'*
*After thinking for a moment, the woman drops her towel and stands naked 
in front of Bob, after a few seconds, Bob hands her $800 and leaves..*
*The woman wraps back up in the towel and goes back upstairs.*
*When she gets to the bathroom, her husband asks, 'Who was that?'*
*'It was Bob the next door neighbor she replies.*
*'Great,' the husband says, 'did he say anything about the $800 he owes  
me?'*
*_Moral of the story:_*
*/If you share critical information pertaining to credit and risk with 
your shareholders in time, you may be in a position to prevent avoidable 
exposure/**/./*
*_Lesson 2:_*
*A priest offered a Nun a lift.*
*She got in and crossed her legs, forcing her gown to reveal a leg.*
*The priest nearly had an accident.*
*After regaining control of the car, he stealthily slid his hand up her 
leg.*
*The nun said, 'Father, remember Psalm 129?'*
*The priest removed his hand, but after changing gears, he let his hand 
slide up her leg again. The nun once again said, 'Father, remember Psalm 
129?'*
*The priest apologized 'Sorry sister but the flesh is weak.'*
*Arriving at the convent, the nun sighed heavily*
*And went on her way.*
*On his arrival at the church, the priest rushed to look up Psalm 129.. 
It said, 'Go forth and seek, further up, you will find glory.'*
*_Moral of the story:_*
*/If you are not well informed in your job, you might miss a great 
opportunity./*
*_Lesson 3:_*
*A sales rep, an administration clerk, and their manager are walking to 
lunch when they find an antique oil lamp.*
*They rub it and a Genie comes out.*
*The Genie says, 'I'll give each of you just one wish.'*
*'Me first! Me first!' says the admin clerk. 'I want to be in the 
Bahamas , driving a speedboat, without a care in the world.'*
*Puff! She's gone.*
*'Me next! Me next!' says the sales rep. 'I want to be in Hawaii, 
relaxing on the beach with my personal masseuse, an endless supply of 
Pina Coladas and the love of my life.'*
*Puff! He's gone.*
*'OK, you're up,' the Genie says to the manager.*
*The manager says, 'I want those two back in the office after lunch.'*
*_Moral of the story:_*
*Always let your boss have the first say.*
*_Lesson 4_*
*An eagle was sitting on a tree resting, doing nothing.*
*A small rabbit saw the eagle and asked him, 'Can I also sit like you 
and do nothing?'*
*The eagle answered: 'Sure, why not.'*
*So, the rabbit sat on the ground below the eagle and rested. All of a  
sudden, a fox appeared, jumped on the rabbit and ate it.*
*_Moral of the story:_*
*To be sitting and doing nothing, you must be sitting very, very high up.*
*_Lesson 5_*
*A turkey was chatting with a bull.*
*'I would love to be able to get to the top of that tree' sighed the 
turkey, 'but I haven't got the energy.'*
*'Well, why don't you nibble on some of my droppings?' replied the bull. 
They're packed with nutrients.'*
*The turkey pecked at a lump of dung, and found it actually gave him 
enough strength to reach the lowest branch of the tree.*
*The next day, after eating some more dung, he reached the second branch*
*Finally after a fourth night, the turkey was proudly perched at the top 
of the tree.*
*He was promptly spotted by a farmer, who shot him out of the tree.*
*_Moral of the story:_*
*Bull Shit might get you to the top, but it won't keep you there..*
*_Lesson 6_*
*A little bird was flying south for the winter. It was so cold the bird 
froze and fell to the ground into a large field.*
*While he was lying there, a cow came by and dropped some dung on him..*
*As the frozen bird lay there in the pile of cow dung, he began to 
realize how warm he was.*
*The dung was actually thawing him out!*
*He lay there all warm and happy, and soon  began to sing for joy.*
*A passing cat heard the bird singing and came to investigate.*
*Following the sound, the cat discovered the bird under the pile of cow 
dung, and promptly dug him out and ate him.*
*_Morals of the story:_*
*(1) Not everyone who shits on you is your enemy;*
*(2) Not everyone who gets you out of shit is your friend; and*
*(3) When you're in deep shit, it's best to keep your mouth shut!*
*THUS ENDS THE FIVE MINUTE MANAGEMENT COURSE*

	
	
	
	
	



	


	
	

	
	

	
	

	
	

	
	

	

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