[BITList] Natural Laws of....

[John Feltham]

Good one come around again and again!  :-)





Subject: Fw: Natural Laws of.... Natural Laws 

1. _Law of Mechanical Repair_ - After your hands become coated with 
grease, your nose will begin to itch and you'll have to pee.

2. Law of Gravity_- Any tool, nut, bolt, screw, when dropped, will roll 
to the least accessible place in the universe.

3. Law of Probability - The probability of being watched is directly 
proportional to the stupidity of your act.

4. Law of Random Numbers - If you dial a wrong number, you never get a 
busy signal; someone always answers.

6. Variation Law - If you change traffic lanes, the one you were in 
will always move faster than the one you are in now.

7. Law of the Bath - When the body is fully immersed in water, the 
telephone rings.

8. Law of Close Encounters - The probability of meeting someone you 
know INCREASES dramatically when you are with someone you don't want to 
be seen with.

9. Law of the Result - When you try to prove to someone that a machine 
won't work, IT WILL!!!

10. Law of Biomechanics - The severity of the itch is inversely 
proportional to the reach.

11. Law of the Theatre & Hockey Arena - At any event, the people whose 
seats are furthest from the aisle, always arrive last. They are the 
ones who will leave their seats several times to go for food, beer, or 
the toilet and who leave early before the end of the performance or the 
game is over. The folks in the aisle seats come early, never move once, 
have long gangly legs or big bellies and stay to the bitter end of the 
performance. The aisle people also are very surly folk.

12. The Coffee Law - As soon as you sit down to a cup of hot coffee, 
your boss will ask you to do something which will last until the coffee 
is cold.

13. Murphy's Law of Lockers - If there are only 2 people in a locker 
room, they will have adjacent lockers.

14. Law of Physical Surfaces - The chances of an open-faced jam 
sandwich landing face down on a floor, are directly correlated to the 
newness and cost of the carpet or rug.

15. Law of Logical Argument - Anything is possible IF you don't know 
what you are talking about.


17._Oliver's Law of Public Speaking_ -- A CLOSED MOUTH GATHERS NO 
FEET!!!

18. Wilson's Law of Commercial Marketing Strategy_ - As soon as you 
find a product that you really like, they will stop making it, OR the 
store will stop selling it!!

19. Doctors' Law- If you don't feel well, make an appointment to go to 
the doctor, by the time you get there you'll feel better.. But don't 
make an appointment, and you'll stay sick.


"Life is not the way it's supposed to be - it's the way it is. The way 
you cope with it is what makes the difference."


I'm going to retire and live off my savings.
What I'll do on the second day, I have no idea.