[BITList] Good Advice or Laughs.

[FA]

>>>             *Knowledge is knowing a tomato is a fruit.*
>>>             *Wisdom is not using it in a fruit salad.*
>>>
>>>             _Sometimes, when I look at my children, I say to
>>>             myself,' Lillian , you should have remained a virgin..'_
>>>             _- Lillian Carter (mother of Jimmy Carter )_
>>>             _<><>_
>>>             _I had a rose named after me and I was very flattered.
>>>             But I was not pleased to read the description in the
>>>             catalogue: - 'No good in a bed, but fine against a wall.'_
>>>             _- Eleanor Roosevelt_
>>>
>>>             _<><>_
>>>             _Last week, I stated this woman was the ugliest woman I
>>>             had ever seen. I have since been visited by her sister,
>>>             and now wish to withdraw that statement.._
>>>             _- Mark Twain_
>>>             _<><>_
>>>             _The secret of a good sermon is to have a good beginning
>>>             and a good ending; and to have the two as close together
>>>             as possible_
>>>             _- George Burns_
>>>             _<><>_
>>>             _Santa Claus has the right idea. Visit people only once
>>>             a year._
>>>             _- Victor Borge_
>>>             _<><>_
>>>             _Be careful about reading health books. You may die of a
>>>             misprint._
>>>             _- Mark Twain_
>>>             _<><>_
>>>             _I was married by a judge. I should have asked for a jury._
>>>             _- Groucho Marx_
>>>             _<><>_
>>>             _My wife has a slight impediment in her speech. Every
>>>             now and then she stops to breathe._
>>>             _- Jimmy Durante_
>>>             _<><>_
>>>             _I have never hated a man enough to give his diamonds back._
>>>             _- Zsa Zsa Gabor_
>>>             _<><>_
>>>             _Only Irish coffee provides in a single glass all four
>>>             essential food groups: alcohol, caffeine, sugar and fat._
>>>             _- Alex Levine_
>>>             _<><>_
>>>             _My luck is so bad that if I bought a cemetery, people
>>>             would stop dying._
>>>             _- Rodney Dangerfield_
>>>             _<><>_
>>>             _Money can't buy you happiness .... But it does bring
>>>             you a more pleasant form of misery._
>>>             _- Spike Milligan_
>>>             _<><>_
>>>             _Until I was thirteen, I thought my name was*SHUT UP *._
>>>             _- Joe Namath_
>>>             _<><>_
>>>             _I don't feel old. I don't feel anything until noon.
>>>             Then it's time for my nap._
>>>             _- Bob Hope_
>>>             _<><>_
>>>             _I never drink water because of the disgusting things
>>>             that fish do in it.._
>>>             _- W. C. Fields_
>>>             _<><>_
>>>             _We could certainly slow _
>>>             _the aging process down if it had to work its way
>>>             through Congress._
>>>             _- Will Rogers_
>>>             _<><>_
>>>             _Don't worry about avoiding temptation. As you grow
>>>             older, it will avoid you._
>>>             _- Winston Churchill_
>>>             _<><>_
>>>             _Maybe it's true that life begins at fifty... But
>>>             everything else starts to wear out, fall out, or spread
>>>             out._
>>>             _- Phyllis Diller_
>>>             _<><>_
>>>             _By the time a man is wise enough to watch his step,
>>>             he's too old to go anywhere._
>>>             _- Billy Crystal_
>>>             _And the cardiologist's diet: - If it tastes good spit
>>>             it out._
>>>             _~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~_
>>>             */May your troubles be less, may your blessings be more, and
>>>             may nothing but happiness come through your door/**/./*
>>>
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